but let me calrify a few things, just a few.

-rides on other peoples tails and can’t be accountable, told or do anything anyway.- i don’t think so. i try my best not to ‘ride on other people’s tails’ and i do believe i do as much as i quite possibly can. and that’s enough, for now, because it’s all i can do. i want an education, i want my experiences, so that in ten years, when i say the same things (only in a more informed way) people like you won’t be able to dispute it by resorting to the lack of my current age and hence, accountability.

-Electra is just a representative.- i’m NOT, i’m not. i don’t represent anything or anyone but myself. nor can i claim to.

-what does electra know about this. Nothing.- please don’t assume, ashanthi. just because i don’t address every single issue and every single problem on this blog, it doesn’t mean i don’t know and i don’t care. this blog is not about making a political commentary. i’m not a political blogger like morq is. sometimes i make a post about it, just like i would make a post about anything else. again, you don’t know me beyond this blog so don’t assume ’she doesn’t know, she doesn’t care’ simply because you don’t see the information and concern on this blog.

-Poor electra - she didn’t even know that Raviraj’s wife was one of the Tamil teachers at her school.- i don’t think you have the liberty to address this issue AT ALL. mrs raviraj and praveena are, respectively, his wife and daughter. i participated in the annual shakespeare drama competition this year; i was the stage manager, praveena was lord capulet. she’s a few years younger than i am, and i was assigned to work with her personally on her characterization. in the end, she was brilliant. of course i know mrs raviraj. how could i not, tamil medium teacher or not? why, she’s the mother of my friend. a mother who fed us night after night during late rehearsal with great home cooked food. a mother who went with us to get our hair and make up done, right before the finals. a mother who made last minute changes to our costumes and props. a mother who came day after day to pick praveena up. don’t be a bitch ashanthi, it’s unnecessary. yes i failed to put two and two together and figure out that the raviraj who’d been shot was THAT raviraj, husband to mrs raviraj, father to dear old praveena. i wasn’t watching the news then, i missed a few details. yes, i assumed, naturally, that there were more than one family of raviraj’s. silly of me perhaps, but a sincere mistake.

-she did not blame me for being the messanger. Therein lies your message Electra- i don’t ’shoot down’ anyone. especially those that are merely trying to convey something, the job of a messenger. i don’t shoot you down because you’re a messenger, but you shoot me down because i’m a child.

T - this I promise you and myslef is that last bloody time I indulge in a conversation with an anon - I know, I know,I know I used to be one - BUT - you take the cake!

I’m frustrated about “how long it is taking for middle class sinhala to stop the killing” … ? Frustraing do you think after 50 years? No
- not frustrated just aware that you never will and you never have.

Get yourself a blog id “T” and then talk.

Well anyway- i ‘m sure if any of you want clarification - you will let me know … :-= chipmunks.

One can only by cheerful when you’re oppressed and deprived a litle like the irish — que sera sera …

Are you saying that being a Homsexual is a problem …. dingbat?

A growing body of individual Sinahlese persons …. such as e;ectra who care ,….deeply and speak out in muted tones about .. these diadvantaged people … it’s fab … really .

But -bottom line is - she’s a brat. and rides on other peoples tails and can’t be accountable, told or do anything anyway.

In meantime - if I dare say the word genocide -she doesn’t want to hear it. And that would be because she has all the information but none of the humility. It shows rights across the board. Electra is just a representative. When some rampaging racist Sinhala soldier posted between Jaffna and Batti goes and wrecks havoc because the one boy he ever loved gone blow to smithereens whilst they were trying to picky a Tamil school boy on his way home from tuition … what does electra know about this. Nothing. The things - when this gets played out in the courts - it does not reveal the true facts of the matter. How could it. No-one in the army is going to reveal anything. No one in the ltte is going to acknowledge anyting. The parents of this boy don’t even know what homosexuality means. So - we have a victime of victims of victims.

Now - I suppose madam, electra is probalby going to write some admonishing post directed at me about - her version of good behaviour on ze bolgz … well guess what - I think I raise a few issues here and they go like this…

with respect to homosexuality in sri-lanka. - it has been more of a closeted privilidge than a honest reality. The country hides some of the most influential people in it’s political dynasties. What I tried to say was that electra is a product of this society. She really has no idea - we see that from her choice of friends and I see it from the fact that I’m Tamil and she has NO respect WHATSOEVER for my feelings about matters. Apart from giving me a lecture about - dont’ post that here - it belongs there.

Then there was the crap about how talking about gay issues was …not political… how she’d indulged her littel arse in … something beyone and above the fucking shit she lives in… poor thing. She has to do that for us - otherwise it will be kottu, kottu, kottu…

Here’s the deal - this moron - named electra - things that gay rights were earned by not being political…

Morq - and mother of Morq - let me apologise now. I’m so angry that I have spoken my mind about this brat. She’s your’s and you love her - as only you can.

I don’t love her and thats because she is such a fucking fence sitter. An arrogant one at that.

So - we went to the same school.I went when it was a good school and even if we were segregated by race we still knew who all our teachers were.

Poor electra - she didn’t even know that Raviraj’s wife was one of the Tamil teachers at her school.

I spent so much of time with a Sihalese nun who was the Headmistress of Holy Family Convenant talking about religon. We were playing cricket one day - I was in the English medim of course - and some bullying idiot - Sinhalese of course - put the ball through her office window. She then said to me - “you go ask her for the ball, she likes you”. I said “No”. Then other girls said - “C’mon - you’ve got to do it AND - YOU HAVE TO SAY SORRY!!!!

So - the headmistress of the HFC primary school was an amazing girl. She was young, Sinhalese and I loved her. No, not in that way. I loved her because - you could just see she had been through soooo much. She was my absolute mentor.

Anyway - when I walked into her office on the Primary school side of HFC in Babalapitya - with shattered glass all around her and asked for the ball - she gave it to me. She was not happy, but she did not blame me for being the messanger.

Therein lies your message Electra - don’t shoot me down.

So - I did and I said “I’m sorry” but I didn’t say “We’re sorry” - cause they obviously weren’t!!!

So- for NGO’s of there offspring - we know what you’re doing - but you need to do more. That’sal folks.

Sorry - have to watch telly now - lol…

Now who’s got their head in the sand Ashanthi…

No one can deny that bigotry and racial inequality exists in Sri Lanka in as much as no one can deny its existence elsewhere (’civilized’ nation or otherwise). It’s a problem that unfortunately has become part and parcel of our way of life and it cannot change overnight. It is however heartening to know that there is a growing body of individuals that recognizes its existence and are actively changing their own attitudes/perspectives about it… it’s something that does take time though. The time it takes is obviously is frustrating to you Ashanthi.. so just imagine what it feels like for us who actually live here and have to deal with it often… sometimes daily.

The thing is you just don’t keep you posts relevent to the topic… and even then you appear ill informed, bigoted and racist.

If this person were given license to capture, poke and prod homosexuals to find out what was wrong with them, then that would be a different matter, but so far, what he has done is set out his viewpoint. He feels that homosexuality is a mental condition, and we are not yet at a point where we can scientifically disprove that. Using the same argument, we can also say that heterosexuality is a mental condition, but to him it is irrelevant, as it is the “norm” as far as he is concerned. Perhaps he is myopic with regards to homosexuality, but perhaps he is further along than a lot of us with regards to other issues, eg: social welfare, interracial relationships, economic policy etc.

Have you evaluated what it makes you when you lump him into the category of gay-haters/homophobes? Now you can only see him as a “gay-hater”. Which could logically mean that you and he have a category in common, except he falls into a more specific sub-category than you do. Maybe he is a compassionate human being about things that he does understand, for example, he could have given millions of dollars to orphans and such, but his opinion regarding homosexuality makes it so that he is unable to feel the same compassion for them. In any case, by condemning him as a homophobe will not win over any support for your cause.

Ultimately, all I’m trying to say is I think gentle argument would be more likely to win him to your side rather than vehement denouncement. This is your blog and I am not telling you what you should or shouldn’t do on it. I am just offering some unsought advice on a possible method you could use in dealing with people like the “true sri lankan”. Many thanks for your replies and best wishes for your future, this has been an interesting event in my otherwise lazy weekend.

i understand that some people find homosexuality difficult to accept, due to whatever convictions they have about life, and i see tolerating that as an acceptance of THAT denial. by bearing his intolerance, or anyone else’s, i see myself missing an opportunity to change someone’s mind, to turn someone from ignorance to understanding. the more we ‘learn to live with’ this lack of acceptance and condescension, the more we are helping to make room for that to grow.

of course he impedes your progress in this world. not him alone, of course, but figuratively speaking, those that bear resemblances to his opinion on your sexual orientation. there are enough people who feel the way he does out there to hinder your course of freedom and life completely, again figuratively speaking, not just you, but others that are homosexual. there are those that discriminate, those that will not give you a job, those that will not take your child into a school, those that will hold you back from development because they think you’re ‘disgusting’.

we only think the thought of parents having sex is disgusting because we’re shy; we’re shy to admit that the two perennial influences in our life are engaging in what we think to be an teenage activity in their old age. as much as it ‘grosses us out’, we’re not in actual denial about it. we aren’t about to stop them from having sex, nor are we about to publicly claim that we think they are disgusting for having sex. we’re not going to hate them or think any less of them as humans. this is why this differs from homophobia. its not a relevant example.

some people (people who think like the true sri lankan) see you as GAY, and nothing else. it doesn’t matter who you are or what you do, whether you’re a saint or a killer, if you’re homosexual, that’s all you are to them. simply, gay. that’s what defines your entire personality to them. hence, they will not bother looking beyond your ‘unusual’ sexual orientation, they will judge you immediately, in a way they would not with a heterosexual. this is what discrimination is, in its essence, and this is what we need to stop the spread of.

the true sri lankan is being deliberately superior and sanctimonius, and he’s only the face for us bloggers of an entire world of people that feel that way. like i always say, i only speak for myself, and true enough, my arguments become diluted in my emotions sometimes and become incoherent. i apologize for this. i am not trying to be the defender of you or other homosexuals, i am merely stating my opinion.

i stand by my thought that acceptance is a way of support : if we accept homophobia, it will only continue to exist. and everyone’s homophobia is not as mild or as passive as the true sri lankans is.

For some, being gay is a choice. They are able to derive physical and emotional pleasure in the company of both sexes. In that sense, you could say there is a choice in the matter. For some people who are homosexual, sexual activity with the opposite sex is neither desirable, or in some cases repulsive, the same applies to some heterosexuals.

Perhaps this person finds homosexuality repulsive and chooses to rationalise this thought by blaming it on a mental disorder on the parts of those indulging in it. We do not know if this is true about this individual or not.

We choose to justify our viewpoints on some things that are abhorrent in two ways to the best of my knowledge. We feel it is an inadequacy in ourself, or project them outwards by blaming someone else for it. But where does the inadequacy really lie? For example, a lot of people find the thought of their parents making love disgusting, but does that mean the act is wrong? Maybe this person feels that disgust when he thinks about homosexuality? So does this mean we are intolerant because we feel disgust at the thought of our parents making love?

In the end, can we conclusively prove that homosexuality is not a mental or physical disease? For that matter, can we prove that heterosexuality is not a disease? Until that day, all I can do is accept that people who judge me mentally or physically abnormal exist, but as long as they do not impede my progress in this world I am willing to accept that they are entitled to their beliefs. What I would suggest to you is that rational argument would be more succesful in winning this person over to your cause rather that indignant condemnation.