walk
as i stood, one face among possibly another two thousand, one person in a sea of people, and we walked and walked, i realized that raviraj’s wife is a teacher in my school. it struck me powerfully, this rather useless bit of information.
and so we walked, from one place to another. i was only there because my mother insisted that i was there, but at the end, i was glad to have been there. inconsequential as i was, just another face among possibly another two thousand, one person in a sea of people, i was glad.
this isn’t accounted for. a man, father, a husband, a son, is shot dead and there’s no one to be held responsible.
he wasn’t the first, and he won’t be the last. but we have to keep getting angry about it. we have to keep questioning it and asking for justice. every single time. because if we don’t, it means that we are accepting it, learning to live with it. it means we are making it a normality in our lives, we are no longer regarding it with surprise and shock. we have to keep caring and walking. we have to keep wanting to.
absolutely right !!!
Comment by savi3 — November 14, 2006 @ 12:08 pm
So .. .. who killed him? Same dudes that did Joseph Parajasingham over in a Catholic church during Christmas mass? Same sneaky buggers that got Lux Kadi as he slipped out of his pool in a house more fortified than anyone elses on the Island … ah of course we all know who that would be .. the TTT … Tamil, Terrorist, Tigers because we all know - it’s Tamils killing Tamils.
I’m surprised you didn’t wanna go, surprised you don’t have any photos of you there (hint - get a Nokia) and glad to read that you worked out it was a worthwhile experience.
Whilst s/nut blogs away almost blandly about what a bad bunch of evil former colonial master losers the BBC reporters that bother to come to S/Lanka are .. everyday in every town, in Ceylon - we die, and die, and die again.
RIP to all my people. You are brave beyond sainthood, yet it was never something you asked for. You’ve survived, made difficult and horrendous choices and bid your time to help your people. Still they found a reason to cut you down and some evil monster sanctioned your death and now you are gone.
This isn’t about one man Electra - it’s about all of us that you marched today.
What a legacy Sri Lanka has. How the rest of the planet must look upon us and be absolutely disgusted.
It is so utterly shameful.
Comment by ashanthi — November 14, 2006 @ 12:36 pm
“this isn’t accounted for. a man, father, a husband, a son, is shot dead and there’s no one to be held responsible.
he wasn’t the first, and he won’t be the last. but we have to keep getting angry about it. we have to keep questioning it and asking for justice.”
See Electra, this is what confuses me, who were you and the others protesting to? from whom was everyone demanding justice? Was it the state? was it the LTTE? was it the karuna fellows?
Why did nobody put a march when Sarath Fonseka was bombed? when CV was bombed? when Gamini Dissanayake was bombed? when LK was bombed? the state failed to protect those ppl as well, but nobody marched demanding justice? Why the selectivity?
Comment by ddm — November 14, 2006 @ 4:01 pm
As usual the Colombo 7/NGO types get all riled up after something bad happens. But it’s all cosmetic. In two weeks we won’t even remember his name. Same thing happened with Kadir, Pararajasingham, Thiruchelvam, Ponnambalam, the list is endless.
The fact is nobody cares enough to actually do something to change the situation. Ashanthi is right. Tamils pay the price for the lethargy and indifference shown by the educated Sri Lankans who could actually make this country better.
Comment by Anon — November 14, 2006 @ 6:03 pm
I don’t get it…Raviraj is shot and gets the title of Mamanithar from Prabha…we have people protesting in Colombo for justice.
Kethesh Loganathan and LK get shot (not bombed ddm, but same difference)…LTTE calls them great traitors to the Tamil cause and nary a whisper of dissent from the same people who are now marching in the streets.
I concur with ddm, why the selectivity? Protest is good, I think our government and all goverments our country has been saddled with in the past have been fucked up, we should protest with all our might against corruption, human rights abuses, disenfranchisement, etc, etc…BUT when we protest without the right objectives and seemingly to a hidden agenda all credibility is lost…and the LTTE has scored another propaganda point.
Comment by N — November 14, 2006 @ 6:26 pm
Anon and DDM - good comments and glad to see my opinion be responded to in a civilized fashion without the usual spat of vitriol that I usually cop from indi’s mob.
Look all parties are guilty. It is just a matter of degrees and about why. Who has a reason to kill and who is killing for dominance, racist attitudes and facist ideals … what was the original reason for someone, a young, educated Sri Lankan … Sinhalese and Tamil to pick up a gun and start killing?
Anon above - lethargy and indifference - you hit the nail on the head. All they are interested in is cars, dowries, saris, money, power, prestige, scotch and the launch of another new drink.
Look, maybe this is an intrinsic part of our culture, a caste system based on maintaining status quo and not allowing anything to disrupt this insidious cycle of life.
We may think our culture preserves us but that is so wrong. It is killing us.
DDM - you are right - how about every single time a white van screeches down a road, someone opens a door and shoots a Sri Lankan - we have a protest. Here’s the fact - this doesn’t just happen in Jaffna - it happens and has happened right across Sri Lanka for decades. Here’s the other thing - don’t ask electra to protest about it - you bloody get out there and protest. What are you lazy, lethargic or just a plain stupid educated Sri Lankan?
Anon - I’m not impressed about the anti C7/NGO comment. Truly - there’s no need for it. So you think it’s the job of poor, unprotected, uninfluential people in a society to stick their necks out even more and stick up for social justice and humanity? Are you nuts? No - I would much rather the C7 lot not become members of corrupt and evil political machines but start a movement for change in S/L. Although I would have to say that I would prefer this happened not when some filthy act which shows what monsters this so called legally elected, socialist, democratic, all things to all “educated” Government is. It STINKS.
You spend your time, DDM & Anon above on giving them grief - not electra.
Comment by ashanthi — November 14, 2006 @ 6:54 pm
ashanthi : i dont have photos because my brother had our camera, perhaps i will post his photos soon, but is that the point? i didnt want to go because i am weary of large gatherings of people who are all sad and angry, i needed to understand the cause first, not just be there because i was afraid of pissing my mother off. and apologies, but its yet to come that i own a posh enough phone.
i dont think its about conscious selectivity so much as its about the natural human instinct of ‘enough’. he was only one in a long line of people who have died trying to do what they do and maybe his death was the turning point, maybe that’s when 2000 people said ‘enough now’ and took to the streets. it wasn’t for exclusively for his death alone, surely, if anyone had been there, you wouldve noticed that. it was for everyone. for all the death and the violence and the misery. it was asking for an end to all that.
i care about every life that has been taken because of the war, but i cannot answer your question as to ‘why now’. that always seems to be the question, though. no matter who or when or why anyone does something making a statement of protest publicly, there seem to be plenty of people asking ‘why now? why not before?’. well, i don’t know. perhaps logistically, it didn’t come together in the proportions that it did when it happened, perhaps people hadn’t gotten it together enough to do what they did later on, but my concern is, what’s the point of that question? its very easy to point fingers and say that they are being consciously selective, to brand them tiger-lovers and shout about how they only care about some and not others. time and time again i have said that this is not the case.
and yet again : As usual the Colombo 7/NGO types get all riled up after something bad happens : its that comment. ive been to a few protest marches, and especially at this last one at the event of raviraj’s death, it was not solely the colombo 7/NGO ‘types’ whoever they are. there aren’t 2000 people purely in that circle, anyway.
its pretty simple to sit around all day and find fault with each and everything someone tries to do. im not saying protests are a 100% effective, but there were 2000 people there that day. that should tell you something about how many people need so badly to be in the frontline too, expressing their own opinions and making their own statements.
i doubt there’s a completely fool proof way for us civilians to get the people with the power to listen, but atleast some of them try and try and try again, while others sit around and cynically brush aside every single one of their efforts with questions of selectivity, affiliations and exclusivity.
Comment by electra — November 15, 2006 @ 3:13 am
ashanthi - i don’t want electra to go out and protest, and i don’t want myself to go out and protest bc i frankly don’t see the point. First of all i wouldn’t know who i was protesting to, and if i had to protest about killings then i’d be out on the streets every single day bc it happens all the time, and i wouldn’t want to be arbitrary in my choice of protests. If I protest against LTTE murders will they stop? if i protest against govt sanctioned abductions will they stop? If someone else thinks that marching on the road will stop these things then that’s their business, i personally don’t think it would.
And i wasn’t trying to give electra grief, I asked a couple of questions bc I really was interested to know what her thought process was. I think she answered them well and honestly in her last comment.
Comment by ddm — November 15, 2006 @ 4:40 am
electra - what? you don’t know what the cause was about? what are you asleep all your life. Stop taking the piss!
don’t blame your bro re the photos … you know how to get the camera when you want to
come on girl i’ve seen the photos you take.
Look - if you don’t know what the cause is - don’t you ever patronise the person who got shot like a dog by telling his family, his relatives, his friends, his acquaintences and his people that you were made to go to his funeral because your mummy made you!! Stay at home sister, put a CD on, write a blog - it’s a bit like my mother making me go to Church - you go but you do wonder why you went.
In the temple of death - we don’t need any bystanders. We need people to stop the carnage. And we certainly don’t need a man who got murdered to have his funeral be accidentally attended to.
Who knows whos funeral you will be attending next. I worry about this whole thing. Maybe we never knew how bad it could get.
Don’t feel obliged to get involved electra, get involved because you want to .
Comment by ashanthi — November 15, 2006 @ 2:13 pm
ashanthi : your opinions are often those i could agree with, but your articulation is often riled up and hysterical, the essence of what you’re saying is sometimes lost completely because of how you say it. i wasn’t a bystander, what i said was ‘i NEEDED to understand the cause’. obviously, i did, or else i WOULD have stayed home, popped in a CD and written a blog. i meant i didn’t want to go unless i did, and before i went, i made sure that i did. you’re quite speculative and this makes you lose reason when there’s no need to.
what pictures, what are you talking about? i don’t take pictures! i have a measly flickr account to record my friends goofing off. my brother is the photohgrapher, the media man, its his job! i’m not about to take the camera away from him when i know he can do a better job than i can even imagine.
i wasn’t trying to patronize anyone. in fact, you’re the one being patronizing with this ‘i’ll tell you what you deserve to be doing’ bullshit. the only reason i mentioned that my mother made me go was out of gratitude, because if she wasn’t my mother and didn’t do what she did for a living then i wouldn’t have even known about this march, as many of my peers didn’t, leave alone wanting to join it.
Comment by electra — November 16, 2006 @ 6:45 am
ehh…conversations that ashanthi get involved in have a tendency to go downhill very rapidly…
Fair return Electra though I don’t agree with ddm’s opinion that protesting changes nothing, it can and has…I’m still a bit dubious as to why these protests don’t happen when someone who can be considered a ‘traitor’ to the LTTE cause is killed..
Oh yeah good to know it wasnt the NGO types who were involved in the protests…and have the Colombo 7/5 types ever protested in the streets?
Comment by N — November 16, 2006 @ 7:58 am
N - you misunderstand me, there were members of the NGO sector and many people from what you (and everyone else) calls the colombo 7 circle present at the march, but i was trying to say was that they weren’t the only ones. it wasn’t just their intiative alone.
i already explained that i’m not certain how to answer your questions on a so called selectivity, but that i also feel that this question isn’t crucial. refer to one of my comments above. honestly, i don’t think its conscious selectivity.
Comment by electra — November 16, 2006 @ 9:03 am
electra does ur brother have a blog?
Comment by savi3 — November 16, 2006 @ 1:08 pm
ah ok…when anyone says Colombo 7…I tend to think of a different demographic than the people you are talking about…
I suppose only the organizers would be able to say why when Kethesh was killed there weren’t 2000 people in the streets as opposed to when Raviraj was killed…the question imho is still crucial b/c even though both were moderates, in the eyes of the LTTE/foreign media they were both very different people.
For the record though I despise the TNA, I actually liked some of what Raviraj had to say…he seemed to be a straight shooting bloke…
Comment by N — November 16, 2006 @ 4:10 pm
e, you wanted me to have a look and contribute, which i will do, but without clearly knowing why.. as i mentioned while we walked at the above mentioned march, i dont bother with blogging anymore coz it just seems such a waste of time. perhaps if time and energy were spent on it, going through material may indicate some positive changes in at least a few regular bloggers in terms of knowledge and perspectives, but as it stands, as one who at one time used to read on a regular basis (and comment less frequently), its just too saddening/frustrating to see the static perspectives and finger pointing, vitriol and senseless arguments that continue to cover our blogs.. i know that starting on a negative note isnt often effective, but.. i’m not at a place at the moment where i can muster up positivity unless with very good reason..
let me try and point out a few things which may be of use though.. (as I said before, not quite knowing why… perhaps just coz electra asked me to. Perhaps coz though I have now finally given up, its not coz I wanted to but coz it seemed like the most personally beneficial thing to do – it was giving me bad blood pressure, taking up time with no resultant gain and honestly proved to be waste of time and energy. But I wish I hadn’t given up. I wish I had somehow found that it wasn’t wasted effort..) anyway.. on to the possibly useful…
first, that we all seem to somehow be incapable of realising the realities behind things - ie. that all these people, that do the marching, killing, getting killed, losing loved ones, fighting to get a small business started up, what ever it may be, are all humans. with humanity come its realities, like where u live, how much money u have, how u earn it, etc etc..
why weren’t there thousands of people on the streets when kethesh got killed?
Because most of the country – the average jayanthi and jayarathne - didn’t even know who on earth kethesh was (or what he believed in), unlike raviraj who was an elected representative constantly in the media. Related realities – if u want people to take to the streets, they need motivation. (as terrible as death is, most people are too busy living their hard lives and don’t instinctively think of doing something about stuff that doesn’t directly impact them. If saddened by the killing in some way, they may perhaps go visit the corpse if possible or go home and talk to their spouse about it.) Sure, if we gave them money to walk the streets for kethesh (and here I don’t even mean payment, but rather even covering transport costs to travel from out of Colombo etc), maybe they would have. But that would have been the biggest possible insult we could have paid kethesh.
Because when kethesh was killed, most of those who normally do the marching and organizing of them were grief-stricken themselves. To us, it came as no surprise that is happened. Many told him not to take up the peace secretariat position coz he was just setting himself up. Many of the Colombo 7 ngo types that work for what they believe in, work with the knowledge that somewhere down the line, consciously or unconsciously, we made a choice to speak up against the grain, and that may get us killed. It’s part and parcel. But when one of us does get killed, though we are indeed more numb to the situation in a manner of speaking, it still hurts coz u lose a man u have loved and worked with and cracked jokes with.
Everything is political. Should we, as people committed to voicing injustices and making positive changes, have put aside our own grief and worked at thinking straight towards maybe organizing a march? Perhaps. But what would it have yielded? Quite probably low turnout, a reason for the gainfully busy finger pointers and laughers out there to say shit, an opportunity for some elements to turn around and say “see, he went against the Tamil cause and the people are glad he’s dead”, or to have other elements who were in no way “friends of kethesh” in their work to use the occasion to their benefit and come in throngs to say “even to die, he stood for the right thing – which is against the tigers – and he was awesome and such” and use his death to further their cause? Or if we attempted to prevent them from doing so, use that to call us the Colombo 7 ngo types who used kethesh’s death to further our own cause? Would the ltte have stopped killing people voicing dissent?
we chose to mourn our loss in private. Just the few of us.
With raviraj, he was an active member of parliament who spoke up against resultant atrocities of the on going war, and be tna the voice of th ltte in parliament, had chosen to go through the democratic process. Killing is an atrocious act. But killing off a man while trying to drive out of his house for speaking up against the government, just simply should not go without protest from the people. Its not something that the Colombo 7 ngo types should be screaming about but the whole country – if we are people who know anything about democracy and believe in human rights – should be screaming about.
Kethesh’s killing, quite honestly and very sadly mattered directly only to a few. And those to whom it mattered were already people who believed in democracy and human rights. Were the throngs going to learn anything or give a damn coz a few of us took to the streets to mourn a man we loved and an act which is atrocious? No. would the ltte stop? No. with raviraj, we ourselves were not broken down in mourning and people out there knew through knowledge or instinct that killing a man for doing what he did was wrong, and irrespective of what ever their political affiliations were, and we as people who elected them, have a right to demand justice from the government.
This is a concept that many seem unable to grasp, but the ltte are not elected representatives and owe us nothing. The government on the other hand are elected, and are where they are due to election, and are thereby responsible and accountable to its people. They represent us for fucks sake! They should not be engaging in, involved in, in support of or assisting in concealing assassinations!
Why do we fight against government so much? Coz they are supposedly our representatives. Because they take on a responsibility to us when they take on that position. They are accountable to the people. Should the people be made aware of this factor? Hell yeah!!
Why do we say talk with the ltte? Because talking gets less people killed. Because we have no other means of direct control over what they do and how they do it (other than annihilating them that is – which is also not possible coz its not a group of people as commonly misconceived but a movement driven by a concept – kill the leaders, kill the concept? Nope. Sorry.) other than to engage with them and try and arrive at a solution that is viable to all. Because all this started off not with war but with everyday action and inaction – political action and inaction. And a solution should be able to be sought in the same way. Why do many of us promote devolution of power? Because it is an option. Because devolved power structures have given people in other parts of the world more control over their everyday lives, futures and desires, which is what we all want. Are we saying devolution is essential? No. the ltte is saying that. Not without historical cause. We’re saying its an option that should not be disregarded due to fear of losing political control. We are saying it’s a good option from all we know that can give people a better life. We are saying its an option if dealt with correctly, which can end this bloodshed and countless loss of human lives – something which has come to be of little value to us these days unless its our own family member or friend. We are saying, if not devolution, then show us the solution u have in mind; the better option – something which has not happened thus far. Are we saying give the north and east to the ltte? No. I for one believe that power should be devolved countrywide. Why more so for the north and east? Because the people in those areas have suffered and lost so much both human and developmental, and much needs to be done to bring them to par with the rest of the country, and devolution would allow the space necessary to speed up this process. Is it the only possible way? Well, no, but I would say it’s a way that offers the people more direct control in their own affairs, which in my opinion is a good thing. So should it be given to the ltte? no. it should be given to whom ever the people elect. Can the ltte be killed off instead? Sure. For now. At what cost? At the cost of millions of innocent lives, with dreams just like yours and mine, and love and loved ones just like yours and mine. Somehow hat doesn’t hit home does it? Try closing your eyes and imagining yourself as a poor villager in batti, or vakarai, or trinco, or polonnaruwa. Who are the ltte? people. Just like us. That suffered wrongs, got angry, decided to do something about it, and began to do so. Just like the jvp. Who are they now? People. Just like our politicians. Perhaps complete power mongers. Perhaps part misguided. But certainly just like our politicians. It is a reality of any such movement. Does that nullify the underlying issues? No. so what should be done? Push for change. Keep trying to push who ever you have direct access to or influence over to bring about that change. Cant the Colombo 7 ngo types directly push the ltte? no. coz they owe us nothing. Coz they aren’t part of a democratic process. They haven’t signed up on declarations and treaties. International governments cant impose trade embargos on them. They can however cut off funding sources. Does that solve the problem? No. our mentality still remains the same. Do the Colombo 7 ngo types condone the ltte then? Hell no!! do we see reason as to why it all began? yes. As do many the average citizen.
Imagine this – the war disappears. The country is still one and government presides over it all. How long do you think it will take for the next Tamil uprising to take place?
So what are we saying? Government get your act together. Live and work the way you’re supposed to – which intrinsically means protect people and their rights. You owe it to us. Look at possible solutions and don’t discard some coz they will change power dynamics for you or those who keep you in high places. Don’t propagate myths and fears amongst citizens to promote your own causes. No one has to lose their identities or traditions and values and histories that they treasure by “giving in”. embracing another doesn’t have to mean losing yourself. Talk to the “enemy”. Push them to talk. keep pushing them to talk. Consider viable options without fear and with intelligence and knowledge instead. Think of the people and not of yourselves. Educate the people, not of a manufactured history which helps promote your own benefits, but with knowledge of what actually happened and their own roles and responsibilities towards the future. Teach people responsibility, both to themselves as well as to others.
During our weekly Wednesday demo, we were not able to make it on the day of the massive attack on the navy. But if anyone noticed, we weren’t there the week before either. Why? Coz there were some that had concerns regarding personal safety as a result of incidents of intimidation that had happened in the recent past, others had personal or work related reasons which made it impossible for them to attend etc etc. so we cancelled two weeks in a row. all very practical things. It’s a few human beings trying to do what they can to try and make a change. Reality happens. How is it viewed from the outside? The Colombo 7 ngo types were not out there screaming when the navy got hit. We wouldn’t have been there period. Is that right? No. how people see it matters if we’re trying to engage the people. So we brought it up, spoke about it and will continue to turn up every wednesday. But does that mean every wedenesday for sure? No it doesn’t. there still may be times where we just happened to not be able to make it. And that day may coincide with some atrocity. Will people say shit about it? Sure. We know this and we will try to avoid breaking the vigil. But at the same time, we know what we know, and so what people say doesn’t always bother us. Its sad that people don’t really make any effort to check on anything before attacking. But that too is a reality.
Sadly, where us sri lankans are at the moment is a place where finger pointing, laughing, paying most importance to coming out on top and shutting up the guy who disagrees are all norms and take precedence over all else. This too happens when a country has been at war for generations. But that doesn’t mean it should be allowed to remain that way. And it doesn’t mean that Colombo 7 ngo types are the only ones with a responsibility to push for changes. Try and do one more thing than what you think you can.. sinhala tamil and muslim people were all screaming yuddam vendam and yudde epa together that day during the march..
Sorry for rambling on. This is why I don’t blog. Its 5 am and articulation has never really been a strong point… hope some of the above makes sense..
e, go to college, become the best writer ever and then explain these things in a way that will be read and understood
all the best with the college stuff hun. And sorry for possible negative repercussions on what I’ve written.
Comment by mala — November 17, 2006 @ 12:04 am
and… to add to “mala’s” comment - stop over using the word hysterical you goose! Seriously - you know, just because you are not 18,Tamil, a girl, living in some filthy death camp, wondering who is going to pounce on you next, you can be all calm, cool and collected about the carnage going on around you. I see why others are so anti-Colombo 7 ngo types when you get all bloody prissy. You do write way beyond your years but I suppose I should remember that you are still a child.
I am NOT going to respond to any of your comments relating to your mother or your brother and think you know damn well why.
Ultimately electra, it is hard for you, we expect the world from you, I who don’t even know you do and it’s not fair. I’m sorry but …
I want you to go overseas, educate people, tell them what’s going on and make them understand. I also want you to be albe to talk about all Sri Lankans and have the decency and courage to relate all of our opinions, even those you think are “hysterical”. That’s going to be your challenge electra because I can tell you this much - out there in the big wide world, far from the over-influence of a few muts you hang out with at barefoot, you are going to meet a lot of hysterical Sri lankans like me. Get ready for it.
Comment by ashanthi — November 17, 2006 @ 12:40 am
ps: in case anyone thought i was trying ot say its pointless protesting when the ltte are behind the killings or standing up against the ltte and prtesting against them is useless, i am not in any way saying so. wrong is wrong, and who ever responsible should be told so. and though we cant directly influence the ltte, protesting against atrocities does have indirect impact.
but to me, when a wrong is done by government, it is that much more wrong, coz they are supposed to be the moral high horses. upholders of values. those that do the right thing. those that “we” gave power to. those that have a great part in shaping our future.
it is up to government to stay on the right. that is the only way to win anything. two wrongs dont make a right. they need to get onto the right and remain on the right in order to pressure others to do so.
i read electra’s post again. it is essential that we keep getting angry. keep questioning. we owe it to ourselves and to others around us - especially to those yet to come.
Comment by mala — November 17, 2006 @ 12:42 am
mala - I am humbled by your comment - you have taught me so much - thankyou.
Comment by ashanthi — November 17, 2006 @ 12:45 am
ashanthi, just one point i want to note on your comment about understanding why people are anti colombo 7 ngo types linking it to electra getting prissy, please dont make such simplistic associations. fight your personal battles, but dont tie them in with much larger issues which are not related in any way. that is exactly the kind of self-oriented and non-sense based thinking that will keep us in the hole that we’re currently in. you know very well that electra’s prissyness does not in any way help explain the hatred aginst colombo 7 ngo types. i am commenting on this only coz u had added to my own comment. i shall now disappear from this blog.
Comment by mala — November 17, 2006 @ 1:02 am
ps: thanks for your coment ashanthi. out of here
Comment by mala — November 17, 2006 @ 1:09 am
point taken mala - but you misunderstand me. I’ve neve seen electra pissed and fortunately she’s never seen me pissed.
It is a much larged issue but right across the board and throughout history in Ceylon people resent the wealthy. Tamil wealthy, Muslim gold shop owners and powerful Sinhalese family dynasties who do tend to be arrogant arses that live in Colombo 7.
Arrogance is something that electra displays at time. In the context of genocide being commited on a race in your country - arrogance is not what I want to hear from her or anyone else for that matter.
What got people out of their Colombo 7 houses is not the death of one man, but his potential to stop the revolting carnage that the GOSL, voted in by the majority of Sri Lankans is doing to a race. Ultimately, no-one will point the finger at anyone else apart from those of you who sit aside and do nothing.
electra and her many friends are trying to do something but … it is also time for them to wake up and understand that it is not just some young impoverished boy-child, holding a gun that weighs more than he does, that is on the front-line. She is too. Rightly or wrongly and if you are going to get out there and say you speak the truth - then know the whole truth according to EVERYONE of us - not just your mates.
Mala - don’t go away. We need to argue and we need to be real. Some day our words will be read and they will have impact because all of us want one thing & that is peace for our people.
Electra can call me hysterical and I will call her a child
but it doesn’t mean that we aren’t on the same side. We need to stick together especially right now.
Comment by ashanthi — November 17, 2006 @ 3:48 am
mala : thank you so much for your comment. i think it made things clearer for everyone. it did for me, if nothing else.
ashanthi : dont assume you know me or anything about me. you don’t. the familiarity with which you tell me how to say what i say, how i should refrain from using certain words, and calling me ‘goose’ and ‘fool’ is rather strange, i would expect it from a friend, not a complete stranger. there’s no need to make this personal. i am not speaking on behalf of anyone nor am i representing anyone other than myself. i speak for myself alone and this blog is mine.
i asked mala to contribute because i feel she might’ve answered everyone’s questions better than i did, and well, she has. as i always say, i often find that we ARE on the same side. i think many of us are. but when you become patronizing and you call me a ‘child’ the moment you think i get something wrong, its difficult to relate to you. its difficult when you make everything personal and you seem to expect me to always DO something. i don’t mind being called as child ashanthi, for that’s what i am. true, i know very little and i’ve lived through even less, but it doesn’t make my efforts any less worthwhile.
even on my latest post ‘in a rut’, you ask me what i am doing about it. i am doing what i always do : whatever i can. true enough, i have plenty on my plate right now and that’s my main concern. i can’t be directly involved in a revolution, i can’t fight the despotic forces that are ruining our country. i don’t have the power or the authority. my biggest issue right now is to go to university. but whenever i can, i educate someone, i change someone’s mind, i blog about it, i join protests, i do work for various people who ARE involved with this cause. this is what i can do, all i can do, and despite what you seem to think, i AM doing them. i’m not a political blogger, only rarely, when i have something i feel i want to say, i say it. i’m sorry if that lead you to believe that i’m the one that’s going to change everything, but i’m not.
i can’t save the world, ashanthi. no one person can. if ever sri lanka resolves its issues, it’ll only be to be replaced by some other issue, some other war. it’s never going to be achieved, world peace. its a myth. but that doesn’t mean we need to stop believing and trying. and that’s all i can do right now. hope, and try and keep believing.
Comment by electra — November 17, 2006 @ 6:51 am
curiosity brought me back to see what possible reactions may have been posted.. thanks a lot e! (sigh) i’ll take it one step at a time - for now that can mean i’ll come back at least once more and see whats being dicussed. see if anyone seems to be making any genuine effort etc… dont get me wrong, i’m not on a high horse. i just feel that time is better spent doing something else if no one seems to gain out of what ever current act. just a personal view..
ashanthi, its not only in ceylon that the wealthy are hated, but you already know this. they are hated by the poor or less wealthy coz their own lives are hard. and they think the wealthy have it easier. that isnt really the case - different income levels lead to different problems, just like different localities and lifestyles do. i chat a lot to the cab drivers i ride with and tuk tuk guys and what not. i chat with as many of them as possible and am often told by my friends that i’m nuts. but i dont feel nuts at the end of those chats. i get a lot out of those encounters. life isnt easy for anyone - not the rich, not the poor. yes, the rich can sometimes be arseholes and arrogant. so can the poor be hateful and unduely harsh and accusing. both happens due to ignorance. we like to say we understand others pain, but often, we dont understand half as much as is needed. that is why effort is necessary. and maturity. it is a reality that the number of arseholes within all income groups are pretty much equal. the poorer arseholes just have less opportunity to be visibly so.
but none of this still explains why the colombo 7 ngo types are so hated. that has a lot to do with agendas. that hatred has a lot more to do with politics than poverty. income or perceptions of income do play a part. but the fact is that this income disparity and income related accusations are mostly the creation of those with agendas that use people for their pawns by propogating falsities.
u mentioned being real, so let me give u some very real information about myself and some of my former colleagues. at my last job, i was taking home 80,000 rupees a month (a job which i sadly as well as gladly no longer hold). that was while working as the local head at an ingo. when i was earning this, my former colleagues working at a prominent and often bashed local ngo were earning much much less. my former boss who is a phd, along with many others both senior to me with many valuable years of experince as well as knowledge and those on par with me in age, were earning MUCH less, some half my pay, some even 1/8th of my pay, while working long - very long hours. is 50,000 for a phd who is also the head of an organisation over or even close to average market values? i was earning 30,000 before i made the switch, with 7 years of work experience in the sector, and almost never leaving office before 8 pm, often not before 11pm even! and that pay too was only after a drastic revision of pay scales in an attempt to cut down the number of good people we kept losing to ingos and commercial ventures. less than a year prior to that i was earning 20,000. look at our commercial sector job market. some people my age - which is 30 - are earning in the leagues of 200k per month! i hear they have revised the pay scales yet again, which is great news coz it is essential. on a very personal note, switching from the local to the ingo was a very difficult personal move i made coz i am an only child, single, highly complicated and thereby with little marital prospect to rest on, from a very average family with two retired parents and a not so distant future in which i would have to fend for myself completely. that was my reality. but others may simply have the reality of being ambitious. just wanting a better life. dont we all? is anyone in the ngo sector, or to use what has become my personal favourite term “the peace industrialists” more a bitch than any other who has chosen to do a job in order to get money at the end of the month? why are people who go home with much heavier pay packs and packages from commercial ventures working for personal gain not being harrased? because they are not involved in politics. at least not visibly. (the fact is that many of them control politics, but that is another discussion in itself). we are bashed because we have chosen to stick our fingers in places which bother certain people. and they dont just belong to government. one of our favourite refrains is that if everyone hates you, then u must be doing something right
it helps those we question to paint us in the light of money hoarding upperclass monsters. the reality couldnt be further from this picture in the case of the majority of ngos. in the case of ineternational organisations, sure , the pay is higher. but those are services of our local staff being bought by international organisations - be it for social or commercial work - and i say show me the money if it is available! show my people the same kind of money you show your people! value the short smiling brown people the same as you do yours - coz we’ve got the same skills and abilities - often even better, coz we have the advantage of knowledge of local context. this i would promote always - its part of recognition of local professionals. the ngo sector, just like any other sector, has its flaws. but what is sad is that in this political mud wrestle, all are painted the same - the colombo 7 ngo types. many of whom happen to live out of colombo, keep aside colombo 7 and get paid tuppence (spl?) but paint them as money hoarding upperclass monsters who are removed from reality and driven by greed for money (which u are probably realising is bollocks based on the numbers i just gave), and it becomes easy for jayanthi and jayarathne who have very hard lives to hate, disbelieve and discard what the colombo 7 ngo types say - which is what the people we bother want. we are not new to this. what is hilarious is that while monitoring elections for example, we have been called unp supporters as well as pa supporters! i have often been asked why if for example the organisation i used to work for (and will always consider to be home) didnt agree with the way certain others work, we still joined up with themin making statements etc. simple. if what ever organisation is making a statement we are inagreement with, we support it. we are here for what we believe in - the “cause” ( 
) and not to further petty politics. they dont run their business right? fine. not our problem. if their statement says what we want to say, what is right, then we support it. we owe it to our work. our responsibility.
also ashanthi, we’re not at a point of genocide yet. we must be careful with the words we use, not because we are afraid to call a spade a spade, but because by calling it something that it isnt, we may actually damage things further. this is not like the UN hesitating to call what happened in rwanda genocide. there are massacres, yes. but there is no evidence at the moment of attempts to eliminate a race, which is what genocide is about. there is no attempt by anyone, even the governement, to wipe out the tamils or muslims. and sinhala civilians dont want to either. it isnt revolting carnage by the gosl against a race. it is revolting carnage. not just by the gosl. its revolting carnage by all sides (i say all and not both coz there are many actors in this scenario now) against human beings. civilian, military, young, old, pottu, hijab and the non-externally-physically-marked. they are all pawns that get felled for each sides’ cause.
by calling it what it isnt, we’re not adding anything useful to any on going processes - even if its just the process of a bunch of kids trying to figure out what the hell is going on - but rather detracting from it by diverting effort into less productive things like resultant vitriolic battles on genocide or not etc.
actually, very few of those who took to the streets that day are from colombo 7 houses. at least not the kind of colombo 7 houses that are being discussed here.. there are a few slums in col 7 as well. in fact, not many of those who took to the streets even work in colombo 7! some of the colombo 7 ngo types’ offices are indeed based in colombo 7, just like commercial ventures are based where easy access to necessary infrastructure is located, but not all, and thats hardly the point anyway..
personally, from all i know, many of them didnt come out of their houses coz they thought raviraj was someone who could have prevented gosl carnage but because they were angered by the reason for which he was killed. because they know that he has been far more moderate (if at times by lack of statement than by statement itself) and sensible than many the moron on the platform these days. and if a man like that, whose job it is to represent his people, which is what he is put there to do, like all of the rest, can be killed while trying to drive out of his house just for critisizing government and military actions in an ongoing war, which he is perfectly entitled to and infact has a responsibility to do, then somewhere deep down it hit them that no one would be allowed dissent! that was the message his killing sent out and that was what got people out onto the streets. different killings though they mean the same thing, due to circumstantial realities, sadly, get absorbed by people in different ways. this is the reality. less average tamil citizens were bothered by kethesh’s killing than raviraj’s, coz they knew far less of his work. they knew far less of him. mercifully, the nationalists, for whom it was beneficial to use his killing, didnt dare use the opportunity for a spectacle. honestly, if they had tried to, i for one, being more heart than head and with little calm in me, would have probably lost it that day! and i doubt if i would have been completely alone.
we didnt take to the streets coz a man who could fix it was killed. we took to the streets coz a horrendous wrong was done.
let me now say more that will most likely be received with much ado. this is something which someone pointed out to me not so long ago, which was hard to hear, which i thought about and see the reality in. nonetheless it is a sad and difficult reality to stomach and one which is hard to say. and that is that when a soldier is killed, it is less atrocious than when a civilian, political activist, academic or elected representative is killed. though both are tragic - and this is the tough part to say - in the case of a sodlier, the risk of death is a much more present part of the job description, so to speak. when moving from a time of no war to a time of war, it is difficult to see these sons and daughters getting killled on the front lines. joining the military at a time of normalcy is very different to joining the military durind a time of war. it is also very difficult for those whose relatives joined during a time of peace to watch death hovering over and taking in singles and mutiples, those that they love. many of our kids dont join the military coz of patriotism alone, if at all. the majority join due to poverty. either way, its a job that involves death. and therein lies the tragedy of war.
it is different however when a non-military or militant person is killed for their statements or action. they’re job description doesnt involve getting assasinated. not even a president’s job description involves getting killed, though it is implicit. a soldier however is there to give his life to protect his country. hard isnt it..
while both are tragic, one is a wrong and the is merely a tragedy. while they both anger us for the loss of human life, one should not be allowed while the other cannot be avoided in any way other than by ending the war. this is reality.
but when colombo 7 ngo types in general say stop the war though they dont take to the streets every time the military is attacked, they’re statements are seen as being one sided and not giving a damn about “our sons and daughters”. this cannot be further from the truth. and when they take to the streets to ask why government allows killings to go on, they are called ltte lovers.
when mavil aaru was shut down, we protested, but yes, we were late. we were not too late though, in that the situation of government gaining control of mutur did not happen weeks prior, it happened a day (or two at the most) prior if memory serves me. at this point, plans and material for the protest was already being prepared and at the time we started, government was not in control. we like all other human beings need time to absorb. and also time to draw posters! if you have ever drawn a large box board poster, you would know how long it takes to draw one by hand. right now, we’re actually much more ready to protest given a shorter time (given that recent times have made it evident that civil society will increasingly need to take to the streets) - more realities - we now even know the fast printers that can get posters done for us. but here’s another reality - much of this “hoards” of ngo money come under project funding where the funder requires us to provide bills and reciepts and reimburses us only prior approved directly project related expenditure. therefore many of us dont have money readily available with which to print posters even. things that the bashers dont bother to look at.. yes we can put our own money in coz the need is bigger than money and such restrictions should dictate, which is what we did. we used our own money. we bought our own boards and marker pens and drew our own damn posters. but where were the bashers with their contribution tills when we did this? where were the general public in colombo let alone anywhere else, who are better and kinder and more honest real people who really truely care about the suffering bretheren than the money hungry colombo 7 ngo types when maavil aaru was shut down? or when civil society was on the streets standing in the blazing sun inhaling dust and smoke getting fried for hours? they wouldnt touch a civil society protest with a ten foot pole coz we’re the bad guys. that is what the bashers, both those with agendas as well as the average know-little in their homes have painted us into. do me a favour and see how fast you can track down a printer to do posters or people to draw them, send out emails, texts and make calls announcing the protest, decide on responsibly worded slogans and get the posters done and let me know.. another constant question is why only tell the government? why not the ltte? if any of the bashers bothered to come look, our posters didnt have government or ltte tabs on them, because they were aimed at both! what is hilarious is that on the first day our posters which read “open maavil aaru immediately” were speaking to the the ltte, and the next day to government, who when the ltte offered to open it (be it for damage control), said no we want to open it ourselves (be it for leverage deemed necessary by some). me and my friends even laughed about that one coz had we put in a tag, we would have had to draw whole new posters or use oodles of tipex! (spl? funny, i have used it a million times but am not sure if thats how its spelled. typex i’d say, coz type-ex?).
these are the realities. this is how senseless all of this is. tragicomic. the least we owe ourselves and others, those here and those to come, at times such as these, is intelligence and maturity. think, read, look a little before bashing. its our responsibility to find out. its our responsibility to join in. its our responsibility to get others we know to join in. whether or not protesting is the best way to go about something, unless u have a better way in mind, saying i dont beleive in protests and therefore will not be joining is just an easy excuse. sure people have the right to chose not to join a protest. but it is also my right to say it how i see it, which is as an excuse for something deeper - perhaps even merely the instinctive physical reeling that happens at the thought of standing in the hot sun and smoke and shitty noisy traffic from hell, on display to all, for all to abuse as they will, be treated like idiots by many a passer by and being laughed at and abused by them, and and all for something that may not essentially have a visible impact by tomorow. what most dont bother to accept though is this - imagine if i stepped out just for today, and like me, all other who felt the same put it aside and stepped out just for today, and it so happened that 2000 of us happened to think in the same way for that one day - what we would have! and that 2000, would have been a whole heck of a lot more impacting than the 40 or 60 dont you think? and for u who also wants peace and wants to help with something that would work - u would have! coz protests say something. it says that people are tired and angry. it says u out there beware, coz we here are not gonna sit around and let shit like this go on!
its our responsibility to understand.
Comment by mala — November 17, 2006 @ 8:15 am
ps: e, that thanks a lot was sarcasm btw
Comment by mala — November 17, 2006 @ 8:20 am
Just read one paragraph …
electra …
I didn’t call you fool, goose, I called the homo-phobe, fool.
I am often talking to other people when blogging - so bear with me…
there you go again accusing me of being familiar with me when I specifically said i don’t know you pissed or otherwise…
don’t take yourself so bloody seriously - take what’s happening around you seriously and understand that it is breaking our hearts.
the comments above are all a bit long for me to read right now - watching telly - will leave a few of my own “sarcastic” comments later and then another one making sure you know that I’m being sarcastic too…
Is there any wonder there is murder and mayhem in Sri Lanka…
Comment by ashanthi — November 17, 2006 @ 12:32 pm
You’re doing the right thing by simply caring Electra, and it’s good you went to the march. The problem too often is that people let one or two deaths slide and then it’s too late. It’s good to at least register that something wrong has happened.
Comment by indi — November 21, 2006 @ 12:25 pm
where were you indi…?
and electra, you did look like a little kid that didn’t want to be there… whose mother forced you to come…
dragging your feet…
pavum for you
Comment by blah — November 29, 2006 @ 4:27 pm