Portrait

the bottom is way below us, its reasonably deep. the rapids are strong, one need not do anything at all but lie on one’s back and get carried along swiftly by the rushing water. the life jacket has slipped over renu’s shoulders, it looks hilarious, like a little house. tracy and i hold hands, and laugh and laugh, caught up in the sheer retardedness of the moment, as we try to keep our feet up and head above the water. i keep yelling ‘don’t laugh’ in between loud shrieks and giggles, but we continue to do so, and consequently swallow alot of the river.

asvajit and his wacky antics. in his shades, in motion, at barefoot. photo by indi.

asvajit and i are partners for ‘kent’. it’s one of my favourite card games anyway. i literally can’t stop laughing long enough to concentrate on the game when he tells me his ’signal’. when he collects four cards of the same kind and frantically starts hitting the drum behind him, i’m hysterical. but even so, i manage to gasp out ‘kent! kent!’ and we win that round. we go on to win the entire game.

at coffee stop, one lazy afternoon. tracy and i.

we lie quietly, sleepily, in the dark on our low, single beds in kitulgala. tracy and i are trying solemnly to sleep at 2 am. the others, all in the room right behind our’s, are wide awake and a little stoned. the music is loud and the conversation is louder. we’re only separated by a thin wall. the music stops and someone asks ‘what to play next?’. there are random suggestions being thrown around. tracy and i are still quiet, trying to sleep. someone says ‘dancing in the moonlight’. tracy and i simultaneously go ‘YES!’ and everyone in the other room erupts in laughter. tracy and i giggle and giggle and wait to hear toploader.

hanni and i, at the new bar at barefoot. photo by indi.

hanni is roaringly drunk. she’s talking non-stop and crying and laughing and i don’t know what she’s saying. i hold her, and my mother looks at us suspiciously. i can barely believe my mother has to witness this. shit. ’stop talking’ i whisper viciously to hanni. but quietly, we’re giggling and i’m trying to keep her steady. i remind myself why i love her, because i do, oh so much.

hiran, twiggy, B, charlotte and yanik, in nuwaraeliya. photo by asvajit.

we decide to race, me on asvajit’s back, B on yanik’s. they win, but they’re cheaters. we switch partners. B on asvajit’s back and, er, yanik on mine. the results are disastrous. B and asvajit win,
obviously, and i manage to run a fair bit before yanik falls off me.

my soul sister D, and i. at the green path house. photo by iroms.

D wakes me up. i’m grumpy when i get woken up that early. her efforts are successful and persistent. she’s a morning person, cheerful and smiling. i want to kill her. i wait for her to leave the room before hauling myself out of bed. i go into the dining room, she stands there, her back to me, facing the garden. i put my hands to the elastic band of her pyjama bottoms, grab a hold of it, and yank downwards. i pull her bottoms right down to her ankles. her shriek of disbelief is satisfying, especially when we notice that we aren’t entirely alone.

us 6, together again. family from birth. brothers and sisters - sanjay and me, nanda and D, isuru and venu. at sean and tash’s wedding reception.

venu says ‘am i the only one that is still talking to my brother?’ and D and i nod vigorously.

indi and hanni and barefoot. i took this.

indi is eyeing some boy, seated one afternoon at barefoot. he’s a good looking boy, and i know him vaguely. indi is at a table with three girls, and we waste no time taking it to town. we giggle and peek and stand up to get a better look at this boy. we put a lot of effort into making it obvious and indi is embarrassed.

iroms and i, at the green path house. photo by D.

iroms and i are scaling the wall of the green path house at 3 am. we are drunk and scaling the wall. talk about a death wish, huh? i keep telling her ‘i’m going to fall and die’ and she keeps laughing. we’re trying to get in without anyone noticing. the ground looks far away from where i’m standing on the railing of the balcony upstairs. when i get in and open the door for her, we hug and enfolded in the hug, we’re laughing uncontrollably.

nanda, isuru, sanjay. outside the chapel after the ceremony at sean and tash’s wedding.

there’s 8 people in isuru’s car, humphrey. we’re full to capacity. when anushan decides to moon the van behind us while we’re steadily approaching a red light, i know we’re in trouble. i look back and forth frantically and yell ‘anush don’t! red light!’. he pays no heed and undoes his pants. great. there were little children in that van, you know.

dancing at barefoot. arun and i. photo by indi, who rightfully called it ‘i see you baby’.

arun and i are dancing at barefoot. i look at him in his ramones t shirt and blazer and think to myself ‘how long have i known this person?’. i wish i’d known him as well for longer, but i’ve been told it’s never too late. between arun’s killing sarcasm and dramatic ways, asvajit’s wacky antics, the incessent click of yanik’s talented camera, hiran’s true identity and twiggy’s blushing sweet-ness, these boys are too good to be true.

me, arun, tash and asvajit. maskerade, at h20. photo by indi.

if only. if only i could somehow file each of these moments, and so many millions more, away. safely. if only i could save them for sadder times and replay them, relive them, whenever i feel i need that boost in energy. because when we’ve left each other for our respective uncertain futures, this is all we will have left. a few blog posts, some photographs, and our memories. if only.