the disreputable youth
a bladdy australian, a pretentious chain-smoker, a tattooed wannabe writer and a psychologically disturbed artist at barefoot. photo by deshan, who personally hates it. i like it.
when deshan took this picture at barefoot, he asked us to look ‘disreputable’. i’d like to think we don’t look in the least disreputable (here), which is embarrassing. you’d think we wouldn’t even have to try.
youth is glorious and, i’m sure i’ve said this before, utterly insane. it’s your tailor made chance to make mistakes, discover your hidden talents, perform all/any illicit activity without a nagging conscience, make the best friends, and to have multiple shots at trying to figure out what you want from yourself and from life in the future.
nothing is meant to be clear or certain, and nothing is. everything is blurry and great and confusing and irresistably fun. you move from one interest to another, one phase to the next, one hobby to the other, everything is constantly changing and you try your best to hang on and make as much as sense of it as you possibly can. you, your opinions, your morals, your values change from year to year, month to month, day to day even, as you learn things anew and find out things about yourself and the world that you didn’t know were real.
this said, youth doesn’t come without it’s own set of responsiblities and pressures. there are exams to be gotten through, pressing questions about your ambition to be answered, an entire future to be planned, step by step. there’s a whole bunch of adults to please, a whole bunch of peers to outdo and a self esteem that is so arrogant it’s disturbing. everyone expects something from you, people you know, people you don’t know, people you love, people you hate, but all the same you struggle helplessly to live up to as many expectations as is humanly possible. there’s criticism when you go wrong (’so young, too!’) and applause when you do something right (’so young, too!).
my mother says being young is about loud music, a lot of sneaking around, a couple of secrets, constant sunday morning hangovers and unpredictable mood swings. of course, she and i both know that it is somehow much, much more, and nothing all that glamorous at the same time. it’s horribly complicated and stupidly simple all at once, making it almost impossible to prognosticate where your next fuck-up is coming from. being young is about learning to accept the sheer unpredictability of life and the impermanency of everything that’s supposedly solid. it’s about living for the moment, not necessarily because you want to, but because there really isn’t any other option. it’s about living and learning, every achievement, every loss is a lesson waiting to be embraced. it’s about living life like it’s meant to be lived ; with faith and zest and grit, qualities that age and it’s little wisdoms and sensibilities seem to dilute with adulthood.
oh, youth. the foundation of my existence, the manifestation of my dreams and nightmares. help me get through this one.
that is a bunch of disreputable cunts right there…
love the post, e, very accurate distillation… I noticed the line about studying…hmmm
Comment by Arun — May 27, 2006 @ 7:47 am
Wow, you summed up youth pretty well! It’s the greatest thing out there-I’m afraid it will run away one day when my back is turned though, and never reappear. Blink and you miss it sort of thing. Only thing to do is live for the moment eh?
Comment by Charlotte — May 27, 2006 @ 9:04 am
These blady australians…I tell you…
Comment by asvajit — May 27, 2006 @ 9:06 am
being young is not about sunday night hangovers,or planning your future, and it’s certainly not glorious, not for the young people in sri lanka that the “colombo elite” only catch a glipse of through the heavily tinted windows of their mercs and beemers on their way to polonnaruwa with a cousin from aussie, or to nuwara eliya to driink their heads off and party.
it’s about quitting school and finding money to send your sister to school, cos that’s the only way you can save her from being married off when she’s sixteen. it’s about running into the bushes every time the ltte comes to your house for conscription. it’s about walking ten miles to get five litres of water for you five month old infant.
grow up, take you designer shades off and look, don’t look far, look one hour away from colombo. the money you spend on a cup of coffee can feed a family in hambanthota for a whole week. it can by a baby who lost his mother the much needed infant formula that his father labours a month to buy.
look around you for a change.
Comment by youthofthenation — May 27, 2006 @ 10:39 am
youthofthenation : give me a break. don’t bring all your bleeding heart bile in here and try to put me on a guilt trip for not being poor and downtrodden. i am perfectly aware of the situation of the world around me. i have seen much more than judgmental folks like you will ever believe, and i know fully well that i am extraordinarily privileged and blessed. i am gratfeul for these advatanges every day, and i don’t have to be sorry for or feel bad about expressing my views.
i look around me all the time. what i see is mostly depressing and i change it whatever way i can whenever i have the opportunity. but, i also look around me and i see hope : i see hope for my generation just as much as i see despair. i see hope in education and knowledge and courage and the freedom one has to get out there and say what’s on your mind.
it might be nice to not be patronized by someone who barely knows me or anything of the life i live.
Comment by electra — May 27, 2006 @ 2:59 pm
That reading your post made me nostalgic brought home to me that my youth is finally done and dusted, and official confirmation comes in a weeks time, when I hit the quarter century mark
…Enjoy the craziness while you can, and if you thought the high school part of youth was fun, wait til you get to the college part! 
Comment by childof25 — May 27, 2006 @ 6:35 pm
I don’t think I have anything to add. Beautifully put. Even inspired me to go out and enjoy my youth more. It’s quite humbling when somebody gives me a piece of really simple wisdom, that I should have figured out myself. But we’re all fools, arent’ we?
Comment by Sophie — May 28, 2006 @ 12:06 am
As long as you keep Sporking, everything will be alright. Being young is something that’s pretty important - it’s quite obvious that this stage in life shapes who you are. Have fun; but be careful. Keep the flame of discontent burning, and keep alert, too.
Comment by Prophet Zero — May 28, 2006 @ 6:10 am
Youthofthenation: I take it you’re from up north?
Comment by Hiran — May 28, 2006 @ 3:31 pm
Is this the only chick in sl with a fucking tatto on for god sake?
Comment by colomboelite_myarse — May 29, 2006 @ 12:26 am
colomboelite_myarse : yeah, DUH.
Comment by electra — May 29, 2006 @ 4:06 am
I like the pic a lot….
Comment by Yanik — May 29, 2006 @ 11:04 am