Portrait

women are a strange species. every day i learn something new about our good kind. here’s some observations i’ve made. women can be amazing at their best, and destructive at their worst.

1. they are fiercely loyal.
men are not the only one’s with the ‘mob mentality’. girls, in the plural, can be as vicious and protective of each other as a bunch of very drunk, very testosterone driven men on a saturday night. they’re less likely to throw a punch, but they will go to unheard of lengths to make your life miserable if you mess with a girlfriend. they travel in packs and watch out for each other in a way that no one else really does, or can.

2. they are also fiercely vicious, especially if spurned.
hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. tell me about it. i’ve encountered very angry women, and very angry men, and somehow found myself noticeably more threatened (and i admit, frightened even) when faced with the chick. women, especially if given enough reason, will connive, and plot and scheme and meticulously screw you over.

3. they can be incredibly insincere.
women can be one thing to your face, and an entirely different something behind your back. i have found that, in general, men either don’t have it in their nature, or just do not have the time and energy it takes to be insincere. a woman carries this off like an art, and most often also allows herself to get really hurt when she discovers that others do it to her too.

4. they are jugdmental, especially of other women.
everyone judges everyone else. that’s a given. but most women take this to another level. they love playing all-mighty superior, and think they have the god given liberty to say whatever they feel like saying about someone else based on incredulous observations and loose theories. and better yet, imposing these theories on other people. lots of other people. not for a moment do they stop to consider their ignorance on the matter.

5. they live by double standards.
oh good lord. women are simply the maestros of double standards. i’ve found most men to be more practical in this regard, and that men are less hurried to be this hypocrtical. maybe this is because men are also simply less judgmental. like i said before, a woman passes judgment on other people, especially other women, like it’s her job. and then she also believes that her actions are totally justified, even if they are similar to those of the people (other women) she judged rashly, and negatively.

6. they are melodramatic.
live with it. women are drama queens. it’s like a birth right. they are sensitive, emotional, intuitive and usually big hearted, driven by romantic ideals and faith in universal things like courage, love and loyalty. they take this stuff real seriously, so don’t ever laugh at her when she’s telling you things like ‘what ever happened to chivalry?’. she’s your typical juliet, especially with regard to love, romance and relationships : starry eyed, hopeful, idealistic. if she ever tells you ‘it’s natural’, she’s not kidding.

7. they are brave.
i don’t know too much, but i think women are integrally braver than men are. women are internally stronger. they always have a healthy attitude towards going wrong and going on. they don’t have that distracting ‘male ego’ to deal with, and are hence more capable of picking up the pieces and getting on with life. sure, they can be wrecked easily, but they will also fix themselves up and face the music stronger, better and possibly sooner than most men. this is another one of those innate traits that i believe that women are just born with.

8. they are easily guilt-ridden.
women spend their lives talking about feminism and equal rights, but most often, almost naturally, cave into the chauvinistic ways of this world. she will feel guilty when her son is caught distributing pornography in his school. she will feel guilty for breaking up with someone who treats her like crap anyway. she will feel guilty when she lets her boyfriend feel her up a little. she will feel guilty when her home is a mess. she will feel guilty about getting drunk. she will feel guilty about indulging herself a little, about being a little selfish. typical and vicious cycle.

9. they love misery.
i did a post about how women are attracted to men who treat them like shit. well, it’s true. for some odd reason, i don’t know one woman who has not, at one point in her life or another, been head over heels in love and almost obsessed with some guy who was just plain bad news. this part and parcle of loving the drama : loving the misery. i don’t know if it makes us feel like better people, or whether we take comfort in knowing that we might possibly come out of the shit hole better, bigger, wiser people, but i know women take that dangerous leap of faith time and time again to find themselves in too deep. the heart ache, the crying, the bitter memories and communal bitching sessions (known to others as venting) : she will revel in this for some time, then move on with a scar she is proud of and a wound she is happy to have cured.

10. they love talking (mostly about themselves).
everyone knows this, right? women have feelings they enjoy sharing, and they enjoy being heard and understood. of course, heard and understood are miles apart in practicality. their feelings are important to them, and they expect this to be the case for others as well.

note : these are generalizations and none of it literally applies to every woman on the face if planet earth. i will also humbly admit that i am guilty of most of the above mentioned. of course, some of this applies to men too, to the human race as a whole.