re-evaluation
my life has become seriously strenous and strange. you know its not right when the things you do no longer make sense, even to oneself, and the reasons why you do them are ambigious and nonsensical. i’ve hit these spots before, and some careful contemplation has always managed to set the record straight. well, more or less. on one hand, my life is on-track in a way that it has never been before. and on the other hand…i have fingers? ok. no, on the other hand, its sometimes really tiring and confusing living life the way i do. this muddled-ness is definitely not as good as the on-track-ness. so i pick the parts of my life that’s on track and a couple of thoughts and resloutions to make as much of my life that way as possible.
i will…
a) quit drinking (so much, so often)
b) quit being such an extreme asshole to CRS (so much, so often)
c) quit believing that i’m fucking invincible and start admitting that my life is as vulnerable to falling apart. just like your’s.
d) pay more attention to feelings. mine and others.
e) put more effort into the outcome of my academic career so as to ensure brilliance
f) not eat compulsively (so much, so often)
g) try to mail tracy atleast every other day. she’s good for me.
h) quit moping unhealthily about the boy’s absence and make the best of the situation. he is too fucking good to give up just because i can’t ‘take the pain’.
i) quit giving up on myself and my strengths so easily. i’m so full of shit sometimes. and damn convincing too. so that’s a dangerous combination.
j) quit swearing (so much, so often).
k) quit wasting my time and be productive. so that means i should get the hell out of here. now.
I had been following your blog!
Great realization! but your will power wont do… you need to reprogram your life!
Keep on writing.
Good luck!
Comment by Fluer — March 23, 2006 @ 1:06 pm
I think you should just shut up - you dumbass, attention-seeking freakaziod.
Thank you!!
Comment by A — March 23, 2006 @ 6:29 pm
Interesting ! Mail me sometime why don’t you ….
Comment by Iroms — March 23, 2006 @ 6:39 pm
l) quit beating yourself up for being human and having fun on occassion.
Sweeping up your life every now and then is good but don’t try to be this flawless person to the extent that you become someone else…. I think I’ve been there and tried that and it made me unhappier than I ever was when I was screwing up. Chances are the people who love you, love you for the person you already are. And those who don’t can just fucking deal with it.
Comment by prose — March 23, 2006 @ 8:06 pm
prose is right.
be yourself not somebody else imagined.
-
for what its worth in my experience resolutions never work.
Comment by sittingnut — March 23, 2006 @ 9:48 pm
Well I agree with the be yourself suggestion from Prose, but I think there are times when one should take a step and back and re-evaluate your life when you think its heading in a direction you don’t want it to and decide what you want to change. I wouldn’t call them resolutions as much as a lifestyle change. Yeah and you do swear too much;0)
Comment by childof25 — March 24, 2006 @ 2:34 am
Electra, Electra, Electra… You’ve finally got to that point where you just couldn’t keep up with the speed that the world was spinning… Good ! Everybody needs to go through that, it brings one to a point where you realise that you need to step back and actually analyse how your life has been going. Drastic changes arn’t really neccessary… Nearly all the resolutions you’ve made have an interesting flipside… So, here’s my advice… If you think your about to cross the limits, take a moment… ask a friend what they think, sometimes it doesn’t even have to be a friend, it could even be the stranger sitting next to you… What I’m trying to say is… just get another’s perspective… your will power is more than enough to help you make the right decision… All you really need is a different angle of looking at it… Good luck
Comment by Rudster — March 24, 2006 @ 12:34 pm
And I thought i was the only one who went through phazes like this..
Just be yourself. I have security now; they don’t come cheap but it’s good for me. So just be Electra.
Comment by Scourge — March 24, 2006 @ 4:35 pm
shut up shut up shut up
LOL
Comment by A — March 24, 2006 @ 9:15 pm
L) I will stop making gratuitous references to my tatoo
M) Oh my god!! must remind everyone at least twice a day what a blast NOMAD was and also how much I love Iroms!! OMG OMG OMG
You fuckin minger.
Comment by A — March 24, 2006 @ 9:29 pm
yes, the cheese and onion pie was lovely
Comment by Boycy — March 25, 2006 @ 7:26 am
he he…yes..MAIL ME.!!;) love and miss you so much..but u know that..!!:)
Comment by Tracy — March 25, 2006 @ 3:49 pm