slandered!
i found the post. you can imagine i was shocked to find myself slandered on another blog, (regadring my post high infidelity.) especially since the blog (which i only recently discovered exists) belongs to someone i still remember and talk of fondly. so much for fond-ness. i realize putting this post here and giving you a link to his blog is vicious and asking for more trouble, but as of now i really do not care. i want everyone i know to read this, and tell me, in all honesty, what they think. of course i fucked up. a LONG TIME AGO. the epsiode referred to in this post regarding a cousin’s balcony happened once two years ago and lasted for about 5 seconds. the other, regarding a cinema hall, happened 3 years ago and lasted for a second, it was more a friendly smack on dare than a snog. i regret these incidents deeply, as at that point they were stupid and careless. but i’ve grown/changed since then, and only those who knew me then and know me still will know how much. and anyone who knows so little about my life since then has little if not no liberty to judge me. coming across this post while unsuspectingly meandering through kottu, i was shocked, and worse, hurt. i am really hurt. how silly. this blogger has always been the only person who’s ever said anything genuinely hurtful to me, on more than one occasion, on rash assumptions and split-second changes of heart, but i would expect him to have gotten past this malice. so im hurt, and im kicking myself because im hurt. havent i been sorry enough? havent i apologized and grovelled and expressed my sincere regret ENOUGH? god dammit. when will it be ok?
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Have I ever been bitchy on this? I mean have a ever snapped, or lashed out at anyone or anything? (Other than the LTTE?) I haven’t right? And therefore I think I reserve the right to be a downright horrid, self righteous, asshole today and if you cant deal with it…Then that’s your god damn problem…!
Was going through random blogs, which I haven’t linked to, but tend to visit on and off and came across a post by an old acquaintance…No I didn’t say friend, I said acquaintance!!!! I would give you the link to god awful Blog but in all honesty it severely embarrasses me to think that I, once upon a time revered this particular person!!! its amazing how this tiny number of people fall from grace faster than space junk reentering the atmosphere…I mean people who were relatively ok, over a very short period of time have turned into disgustingly degrading, undignified individuals. I mean all people change, that’s a fact that I have sadly come to accept but generally when people go down the wrong path they usually, at some point in life turn around and say “I was wrong and that wasn’t the best way to go about things” but a miniscule percentage of ignorant idiots, embrace their flaws, have the idiocy to justify their actions and above all, stick to their sluttish ways!!!! Hell…Not only do they stick to these trends the have the audacity to BLOG about them!!!! What am I so fucking worked up about? Infidelity.
Apparently everyone somewhere down the line gets too horny to handle and they end up making out, sleeping or having an affair with someone else. Regardless of life long relationships and wedding vows. Well sorry but this is news to me? I mean just because some people cant think a few minutes into the future infidelity is very conveniently labeled as a human habit…? now don’t get me wrong I don’t know jack shit about psychology, human trend analysis and the intricacies of hormones but I do know that people of moral and mind do not make out with random people in cinema halls and atop cousins balconies and then blame it on inevitability. The particular blogger is known to make these “little” slip up’s on a regular basis but what appalls me is the attitude that accompanies it…I mean understand that you have issues and act upon that? Oh no! Instead you take to hooker-rism and go ahead and get it on with anyone of the male species who willing to suck your tongue!
Ok so now you’re probably wondering what the hell my problem is? Right? I mean its another persons life and why should I get involved? I tell you why? its because I trusted and stood by this screw-like-a-rabbit individual for a good part of my life, defended them without question, and made an utter fool of myself in the process, because after all the time and energy spent she still turned out to be the fastest free thing in a skirt in Colombo!
I mean who the hell is stupid enough to let their emotions get the better of them once in every few months? I don’t get it? I mean it happens once, you make a mess of things, you pick up the pieces, figure out the problem and rectify it. You DO NOT find the whole thing “amusing” and repeat the performance as and when you please and then justify it by bombarding those who point things out with your self justified pre-programmed answers! I guess I could let it go if this concerned person was my age or older but this is a less than 18year old brat i’m talking about. Normal people don’t muck up as fast and frequently as this one does…Its just horrifying to see these “darling” people throw it all away and not have a clue about what the world thinks of them! I guess some people just haven’t heard of limits, morals and above all respect for yourself…I mean I can to a certain extent comprehend the need to casually hook up with people you know nothing about, but how can you do it over and over again without feeling like a whore? Some people are compelled to sell themselves due to poverty and so forth but doing it without rhyme or reason makes no sense to me!
And then theres the cliché answer to it all…”I was drunk/high/stoned” I mean WTF? if that’s what alcohol does to you lay off it for gods sakes…Alcohol is a social lubricant people dont consume it to abuse it, have no idea of whats going on, and lay on a couch with your arms wrapped around whats-his-name?
In my own little two-sense opinion infidelity is a definite sign of a weak, helpless and rather pathetic character. Anyone who is of some moral base can and will fight the urge…If not for love you don’t cheat out of fear of repercussions, being numb to both these warnings is the signature of a failure. We’ve all had the spontaneous urge to get it on with some sweet and sexy unknown but we don’t out of respect for ourselves and the people around us. Infidelity does not concern just two people it concerns everyone around you, your family, your friends, your siblings. But unfortunately certain people are too solid skulled to understand that…Maybe theres some other appeal to it…Other than being the talk of the town? I mean I wouldn’t know right? not like i’ve cheated on anyone…But then again whatever the appeal may be I honestly don’t think i’d be able to deal with the problems of being a “object of ill repute” I mean I know for a fact that people see you for less than you really are and that they talk of you as if you were everyones fuck-toy but is that REALLY that appealing? :s
Whats most irritating is the carefree attitude, claiming to be “a bit of a prude” and expecting that to justify everything…Like saying it out loud makes everything just fine! Yes you are a prude, and that’s putting it lightly but for gods sakes do you have to live by that? sheesh…Some people are just..So…Ugh!!!!!!
*sigh* OK I think i’ve said enough…Whats the point of it all anyways? tomorrow will come and the trend will continue. I just hope and pray that people I know will not end up like the people I read in papers and see on TV, 18 with a kid, or 33 and single. Trust at the rate the aquaintence is going its one of the above mentioned for sure.
infidelity happens to everyone…I beg to disagree. Infidelity is a shallow and spontaneous urge brought about by the lack of self control and dignity. Its one of the many things which set people of character and people who just take up space in the world, apart. It is without a doubt a sign of weakness and lack of restraint. It is by far one of the worst qualities a human being can posses. The betrayal of trust, the disregard for a loved one and the sheer stupidity of infidelity makes it the ultimate flaw. Like a deep gaping crack across ones moral fibre, a stain on the very soul. And I pity and despise those who see it as anything less!
This guy is talking to himself, not about you it seems. ‘Fuck-toy’, ’screw-like-a-rabbit’ and ’slut’ are just cruel, and wholly (and sadly) inaccurate. I have known some sluts in my time (not biblically) and you are definitely not one of them.
It’s unfortunate that a girl who simply likes to go out, dance and maybe snog can get attacked in such a way. There are certainly people who break marriages, sleep around and get in general trouble, but you’re not one of them.
Finally, infidelity is a very human and common ’sin’, and it takes some courage to talk about it as something other than a moral absolute. Dimithri can rail against the pathetic and undignified people who are unfaithful, but that’s not very intellectual honest. It also does a great injustice to a great many good people who make hard decisions and mistakes as they stumble through life and relationships the best they can. He can ‘despise and pity’ those people all they want, but that just shows a great lack of compassion on his part.
I don’t know if this guy is a spurned lover or what, but from what I know of you he’s full of anger, hatred, and fear, and not a whole lot of truth. You’re definitely flirty, but when it comes to actually ’sluttiness’ you’re one of the most conservative people I know. You’re getting the brunt of it not because of your behavior, but simply because you express yourself.
Comment by indi — March 15, 2006 @ 8:08 am
Your life is your life. You don’t have to explain or justify yourself to every person who comes along and mutters the first thought that comes to their head.
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Comment by nulz — March 15, 2006 @ 9:19 am
yes, Its tough to get by with the rising cost of onions , but i will still have some more of that chocolate biscuit pudding.
Comment by Boycy — March 15, 2006 @ 9:56 am
Oh he should chill the hell out. The scariest people I’ve met in order are those who:
a) Are debilitatingly worried over what they appear to be like.
b) Can dedicate so much energy (mainly negative) into judgement.
Judgement good, when you’re making discerning choices for yourself. Let you be you, not a brand-name or a tag-line, or the monumental drivel of bitterness and acerbity.
Me.
Comment by Ru — March 15, 2006 @ 9:57 am
well said, Ru.
Comment by naz — March 15, 2006 @ 11:05 am
I know someone like the person Dimitri is talking about! hmm! wonder if I should send her the link. Anyhow, doubt its you.
End of the day, if you know where you stand that’s all that matters, really. The people who judge can judge, but if nothing really comes out in favor of you, then why bother?
Infedility is/will be around forever. People just love what’s on the other person’s plate. Hence….
Comment by Scourge — March 15, 2006 @ 11:09 am
Well it’s alright
it’s alright
and who are you or me to say what’s wrong and what’s right
do you still feel like me?
well sit down here and we shall see
we can talk about common ground
and we can just forget about feeling down
we can just forget about life in this town…
Comment by SpectralCentroid — March 15, 2006 @ 12:20 pm
One would think that after 2 or 3 years that he’d have gotten over it…
Infidelity may not happen to everyone but it is certainly very very common……..
my two cents……:.(why cant i keep my mouth shut?!?)
what u did then was wrong..no denying.. but if u had genuinely regretted it and apologized it,its time he moved on, esp. after the lapse of a couple of years…
Electra, its understandable as to why you are hurt,but woman, if you know what you did then was wrong and like u said if you grown/changed since then…dont worry about it…people will always be people and they will always judge, for better or for worse and like someone recently very wisely told me, the world is too big a place for us to get everybody to like each other…….
Comment by Savi — March 15, 2006 @ 12:30 pm
to judge another person on arbitrary moral grounds is the most idiotic thing one can do. all morality is necessarily arbitrary.
one is responsible only to oneself.
if one is honest to oneself and happy with oneself that’s all that matter in the end.
as for idiots they will remain so.
Comment by sittingnut — March 15, 2006 @ 6:09 pm
Electra, Sounds like this guy has a bad case of “I didn’t get laid”. Good on you girl! Doncha let these people rob your speed. If he had the “strong” character he claims he does he would have the decency to pick up the phone and talk to you instead of washing dirty linen in public. Poor guy though will probably suffer from performance anxiety his whole life, just cos you snogged a couple of people in your “rabbit” days!
Comment by amahen — March 16, 2006 @ 8:47 am
Infidelity ain’t alright…..definitely not! But if one ain’t gonna slip up at this age, then when. One sure has the right to make mistakes and learn from them. I can imagine how furious u might be, coz I go through slandering day in an day out…hmm….Just ignore em slanderers, it just ain’t worth confronting em or demanding an explanation.
Comment by Judy — March 16, 2006 @ 9:31 am
It already IS o.k., you shouldn’t have to continue to feel bad for something you already repent.
Electra, I don’t know you other than what I’ve read so this is coming from a totally impartial party. I read this and was like… “What? That’s IT? That’s what all this drama is about?” Call me jaded, but I was expecting a lot worse. Now I have known some REALLY free skirts, and I have done things I ain’t proud of either… And from what I’ve read honey, people, and not just this slanderer guy, are out to get you for no good reason. Probably, like you said in a prev post, because you have the balls not to hide behind closed doors.
Yes infidelity is wrong and hurtful but shit still happens no matter how indignant you are. Shit, I should introduce this slanderer guy to a few of my not so subtle classmates, he might wet his pants seeing stuff like that going down.
I can see how it hurts coming from someone you cared about. On the bright side, you uncovered yet another judgemental narrow minded prick and handled it so gracefully, I might add.
Comment by prose — March 16, 2006 @ 7:27 pm
So much for good ol’ Dimitri Perera…
Honestly…What a retarded post.
Comment by Nanda — March 17, 2006 @ 4:10 pm
He’s a fuckwit..
You know it, I know it… I’m aghast at what he said-very over the top, very judgmental and vomit-inducing, just ‘eh’
I’m trying not to get annoyed but he just came off so fucking pompous… what a cunt
Comment by Arun — March 18, 2006 @ 12:30 pm
Been there done that.It’s nasty, but sometimes your physical chemical reactions produce this mist that covers your eyes and you do something you wake up the next morning you can’t really justify to yourself.
Electra - you’re young, you’re hot. Do as you will and give the finger to those pass judgement. I for one know fairly well that you ain’t no slut.
Comment by Sophist — March 21, 2006 @ 6:49 am
Oh god …… fascinating that somethings never change and that thing being Dimitri …. like N says, what a retarted post. No point me harping about it anyway, just forget it. Its all over, its in the past, you’ve moved on, you’ve learnt, and there is no need to have people like this slander you over obvious lack of good posts. Keeo your head up high kos, remember what I’ve told you before
Comment by Iroms — March 22, 2006 @ 6:19 pm