the dynamics of friendship
oh its a pain. they say you can’t have ‘it all’, but everyone wants it all, don’t they? its not just me? is it?
why is it impossible for two people of the opposite sex to have a perfectly normal, wonderfully trust-worthy, rock-steady, totally platonic relationship and a) not want anything more? b) not lose the grip on what they already have if they’re romantically interested in other people?
why cant people be friends and not have their emotions come into play, and not turn jealous if one likes someone else, when technically that’s allowed because you’re just ‘friends’ and why cant you just carry on the way you always did, with no pieces missing, no matter what? why does it become an effort? why does it always become different? why does it always turn into something else, the moment the dynamics shift a little? why must you always hit that point when you don’t know what to say, when you dont know how to be around each other? when you dont know which secrets you want share, and which you’d rather keep, when this was probably a person you’d never kept secrets from, ever?
its a pain because i want it all. i want people to be able to remain who they are, i want relationships to remain what they were, i want time to stop and age to bugger off.
Well… I guess its human nature… eventually it happens, one of the people in the friendship starts to like the other… and then all hell breaks loose.
Maybe men and women weren’t intended to ever be ‘just friends’
Comment by Neo — November 21, 2005 @ 9:55 pm
‘why cant people be friends and not have their emotions come into play’ - Well cause i am just so good looking & filthy rich i guess..
Comment by Boycy — November 22, 2005 @ 4:11 am
Neo: Maybe men and women weren’t intended to ever be ‘just friends’ WTF??!
Men and Women will be, to each other, whatever they want it to be, or whatever they make it out to become
Comment by Man — November 22, 2005 @ 9:07 am
Well I have a bf and a platonic male best friend (who also is currently in a relationship). But I see what you mean about “how much to share” with this bestie…its a difficult situation. We have been friends for years and always promised to tell eachother everything….but (there is always a BUT) I don’t tell him everything. I guess there comes a point in your life where keeping some things to yourself is necessary…
Comment by Anika — November 22, 2005 @ 11:30 am
neo - human nature it is. but its not so much one liking the other (that can be dealt with if feelings aren’t mutual and the sitatuion isn’t right for a relationship) as its about what happens to the friendship once you moved past that point where one liked the other and nothing happened. it becomes different.
boycy - thanks man, i see the light.
man - nope, dont think its possible myself. atleast you cant ever have a totally platonic relationship. at some point, someone bends. maybe you move past it and settle with being friends, maybe you decide you were meant to be, either way, you always hit that point where one of you, or both, but certainly atleast one, bends.
Comment by electra — November 22, 2005 @ 5:29 pm
well i guess it depends on the individuals coz either party should know where to draw the line….however if the boundries are crossed well….
Comment by bella — February 14, 2006 @ 12:16 pm