Portrait

the beaches

i took my time with this post. mostly because, amidst having been very busy, like the best things in life, the beaches i have grown to be in love with usually leave me speechless. i just dont know how to explain how very attached to the sea i am, how it is more than emotional, more than nostalgia, more than spiritual…it is an attachment that is almost physical, something that lives deeper than i can ever know.

i’m not even going to mention each place by name. from the beaches of pasikuda to unawatuna, from the beaches of wadduwa to arugam bay, from the galle face green to dan-haag, holland, from wellawatta to hikkaduwa, if there is a beach, a patch of sea, i can be content. there is nothing quite like the solace, the peace of mind it brings, sitting on a beach feeling the sand trickle from between your toes, letting the salt-wind get in your in hair, watching the ocean rise and fall like it is breathing, staring out into the vast open-ness of blue. my relationship with the sea is intimate, it has an effect on me that no one or nothing else in this world does. its effortlessly romantic, effortlessly calming. i guess i am really an island person, although a very ‘city’ person as well. i could never live too long away from the sea, without seeing it, tasting it, being able to atleast get my feet wet. i actually get depressed when in a landlocked situation for too long. my cousin will probably never forget the hell i gave him in central london, begging for a beach, some tiny bit of sea. the kids in my family were always brought up as one with beaches. we all learnt to swim in the sea, and not in a pool. all our earliest and regular holidays out of town as a large group were to the beaches in the south: unawatuna, hikkaduwa. the one thing i recalled thing summer in the hague, holland, from my trip there when i was 6 was my day at the beach. whether it is the unspoilt, quiet greatness of pasikuda, or the crowded bustle of the galle face green, or the tourist infested chaos of sunbathing and basking in the shallows of unawatuna, potuvil and kalutara, being close to the sea will always make me happy. my story of the sea has already been told here, and for those with a little extra time and the curiostity to find out about first periods in mirissa and skinny dipping in unawatuna, i suggest you take a look.

the sea is a most fascinating, amazing thing. its infinite expanse of water, stretching as far as the eye can see, is like the sky. it reminds me how little i am, how interconnected i am to a larger system, a universe of life.

the hang-outs
under this category, ive decided to throw in all the places at which i spend large amounts of time, with friends, chilling, talking, working, what have you. these places are all very important places in my life, im very emotionally attached to all of them. they’re filled with memories, both bitter and sweet, and have been there through out many years of my life, changing with time, but essentially remaining as i love them.

bishop’s college
my life would not be the same if this place wasn’t what it is to me. surprisingly, its not just the institution, the people, the atmosphere i am attached to. its the place, the buildings itself. ive been in school at all times during the day, from the usual 8 am to 2 pm, to way after. plays, choir, shakes, all this has required us to stay on in school for an absurdly long amount of time, sometimes till 2 or 3 am in the morning. (that would specifically be for shakes). i love the lovely little benches outside, the greenery, the old buildings, the grounds…a lot of it has changed now, and i miss the way it used to be. very few students at bishop’s college will have the opporunity of telling you how wonderful it is to be on the roof is at 11 pm on a nice night and not be fabricating the story and lying at a rate. i’m one of the blessed few. from having prayed to stars the night before shakes finals a few years back, lying in a circle on a clear night in the vast open-ness of the college grounds with our heads together, telling ghost stories sitting in the tennis courts, to having had dinner on the roof during choir rehearsal breaks, to having slept in the auditorium dressing rooms and showered in the tiny bathrooms, to having spent hours on the carpteted library floor behind one of the bigger book cabinets, talking in barely audible tones, to pretending to be updating the interact club website but actually be mailing your boyfriends and checking out everyone on hi5, from singing in class to dancing in the rain, this school and its buildings have nurtured me the right way for too long for me to not love it with everything ive got, even if i think they’re doing a number of things wrong now. we have spacious classes, enough room and large enough gardens for everyone to spend time in without having to breathe down one another’s back and even a building designed by geoffry bawa himself (HAH! how cool is that?). all in all, this place is very special to me, and stepping in through the gates each time will have me feeling all the memories and the history of everyone who has gone before us, and the times that we have shared, both good and bad within it.

lionel wendt
anyone who doesn’t love the wendt needs help. small yet homey, the lionel wendt (fondly called the wendt by everyone who knows and loves it) is still one of colombo’s prime theatre locations. few places, if none, have the same setting, architecture and acoustics that the wendt has, that make it an ideal stage for drama, theatre, music and dancing. there are bigger stages in existence now, but everyone remembers that the wendt was one of the first, and true to its historic reputation, it continues to be many people’s first choice. after having spent hours at many diffrerent places like this one, and after having been on many different stages, the wendt is still my favourite and the one i feel most comfortable on. its nothing much, it could be better equipped to deal with the needs of the performers (although the lights and sounds departments are equipped fairly well), and the stage actually doesn’t allow one too much room, but the sheer cosy-ness of this theatre is the exact same reason that keeps it warm and ever-green. the staff have been the same for as long as i can remember, and they’re all very helpful, very polite and very skilled at everything they do. the wendt too holds memories, many, both good and bad, but wholely satisfying nonetheless. bathing with water from the tank, trying to hide from the nieghbourse whose house is seperated from the bathing area by a grill-like wall, jumping out of the window to crash a party at the women’s international hall, landing funny and spraining my ankle, participating in full swing at all the bajaw sessions onstage before performances, running around in underwear putting on make up, receiving flowers in a steadfy flow backstage, keeping some, throwing some dramatically away, standing in the wings watching others perform, giving light cues and doing sounds with vasanthat, the resident sound technician, and finally, all those glorious times onstage. talk about the good ole days.

dine-mor
sorry, as sick as this is, yes, i love the older dine mor. since its the most economical and geographically convenient place for many of us, no matter how much we whine and groan about lack of choice and fatty food,the amount of times we naturally, and inevitably wound up going to dine mor and damn well enjoying ourselves are just too many to count. the jokes about ‘how many fries did you get this time?’ (7 on a normal day, 12 on a good one), and ‘maybe if we’re really noisy, they’ll give us our food faster’, and nearly getting thrown out on a regular basis, these people probably need an award if not an up in their pay to have tolerated us each time. the food has always been the same, fatty and warm with a distinct flavour that isn’t gourmet, but also isn’t inedible and somehow isn’t something i tire of. the lassis, the wraps and the milkshakes probably deserve special commendation. this place is an anytime. for a quick meal, a quick chat, a quick step in from the rain or sweltering sun, dine mor works.

the commons, coffee house
i liked the older place much better. the flower road location and building still doesn’t sit with me too well, but i am trying to get used to it because i love the commons for its food and coffee. they always have amazing food, amazing desserts (the cheesecake is killer-divine) and great coffee. the older place had the atmosphere perfected to an art. the service was always good, and the outdoor setting with the large industrial fans and the trees in view always worked its magic on me. the movenpick place is alright, preferably sitting outside. atleast its larger, and the atmosphere is still relaxed and the people are still open to hosting a bunch of noisy girls who mix up their orders ten million times.

wafflers
i love this place. i love the food. the chocolate fudge with chocolate shavings, the strawberry and whipped cream, the mango ice cream, and the cappuccino sprinkles. they have a variety of delicious toppings and savoury dishes that the buttery, warm, crsipy waffles come with. economically, its probably not all that successful but thankfully everyone i know loves hanging out here, so it all works out well in the end. ive dragged so many people up here and and them believers. im sure, and worried, that there are enough angry friends out there who got literally shoved into wafflers because of my obsession with it.

barista, galle face
thank goodness they’ve brought it back. i missed this place, as it was the only barista i actually ever liked going to, that too only because its spacey. tracy and i have spent lots of time here, talking over vanilla frappe after vanilla frappe. this is the only barista here that allows one room enough to have a little privacy and not be overheard by whoever is sitting at the next table (life is one constant fight to not be overheard unneccesarily when you’re me ).

the houses
it goes without saying that my favourite house in the world is my own. i love where i live. there is nothing quite like coming home after a long day, nothing that can make you feel quite the way your own home does. but there are some houses (well, homes) that will always feel like mine. partially because of the people who live in them, who go out of their way to make me feel literally ‘at home’, partially because of all the time i’ve spent in them, over nights, over days. these places have come to be some of the places i can always feel welcome at, no matter what time of day, no matter how i feel.

thaj’s house
one of my all-time favourite families, after my own. the sheer amount of time i’ve spent at this house, be it rehearsing downstairs in ms.vajira’s house, or upstairs, crashing after late night rehearsals, talking till 4 am, and getting out of bed at midnight to raid the fridge with thaj, this house and its inhabitants will always make me feel right at home. aunty jani (thaj’s wonderful, beautiful mother) is like my own, ammi jokes sometimes that aunty jani takes even better care of me than she does. anu (thaj’s cycling-crazy, humurous old-royalist dad) is always warm and cuddly, brimming with funny stories to relate and adventures to talk about. umi (thaj’s gorgeous older sister) is talkative and always full of love. thaji herself is one of my oldest and bestest friends. downstairs is the realm of vajira herself, a place that only the company dancers have the privilege of feeling so comfortable in. aesthetically decorated with portraits and photographs of dancers of the older generation, on-tour and on-stage, the rehearsal area is not too big, but adequate nonetheless. there is always some adoring person visiting ms.vajira, an old student, a family friend, someone from the media. thaji’s and umi’s room always (always) looks like its just been hit by a hurricane, you have to step over clothes, books and the likes to get from a to b, and you need to dig deep to find a bed. i share memories of sleeping over endlessly in this house before and after shows with the other company dancers, we have had some of the most insane times together. i will never feel out of sorts in this house.

tracy’s house
my sweet adorable tracy, and the times i’ve spent at her house. coming home late after parties, or just a night-out, finding food in the kitchen, watching cable avidly till we’re both too sleepy to stay up any longer, we always proceed to have the same old fight about where we sleep (we both battle modestly for the floor). i’m always allowed to sleep late, even though tracy is a reasonably early riser. i can sit around leisurely, getting fattened and pampered, watch cable, have long showers and sit on the sprawling balcony for hours, talking, basking in the sun, or watching the stars. i love aunty carmen and uncle gerry, and shehi, if she’s around. aunty carmen and i chat about moral issues, while she offers me invaluable advice about growing up and being ‘good’. with uncle gerry, its mostly political, or trashing/praising some production thats been staged. shehi, the impertinent older sister, is a sweetheart. when we talk its mostly me telling her ‘calm down’ because you can trust shehi to be over reacting about something! i’m a ‘homie’ in this house, i’m allowed to read the books, watch the tv and raid the fridge. its wonderful.

menik’s house
my most eccentric, insane, amazingly talented contemporary dance teacher, menik (whose name i’m tempted to spell ‘manic’) has a great, little house tucked away in dehiwela. it’s artisitically designed, just like the house of such a woman should be. its airy and cool, and nice and cosy. although i never get around to hanging out here as much as i would like, the few times that i have been here, i’ve felt immediately comfortable and at ease. there is a home-y sort of untidyness this house has, a great lived-in feel to it, the kind of thing that prevents you from feeling awful if you were to spill something all over the kitchen counter or on the table cloth. menik’s laid back, loving aura fills this house, making it a place in which i’d feel good anyday.

ryan’s house
or rather, ryan’s rooftop. the ultimate party spot, an amazing open bit of roof that gives you access to the breeze and the stars at night. my brother and his friends have made ryan’s house their all-purpose drinking spot, and frequent ryan’s rooftop with their bottles and desserts (ahem). with a few cushions thrown on the ground, ryan’s rooftop has always had a calming effect on me. his house is situated in a considerably quiet and out-of-town neighbourhood. i can lie there for hours, not having anyone to talk to, not having anything to talk about, content with the vast, open sky above me.

no 4
no 4, bhagwandas road, new delhi is by far the swankiest address i personally know. here lies a massive, sprawling house that belongs to one of my mother’s very good friends. all our trips to india are ineviatbly punctuated by a trip to no 4. bhagwandas road is in the heart of new delhi, india’s blossoming capital. this street houses some of the biggest houses of some of the richest people in new delhi (or even india). no 4 is simply colossal, spread out on a huge piece of land and built in sections with beautiful, lush, well maintained gardens all over the place. the interior is all high ceilings and cool floors. in all its grandeur and majesty, no 4 must be the only house of its size that doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable or uneasy. im not one for big houses, i prefer smaller ones. it literally takes atleast 4 minutes (walking) to get from your bedroom to the kitchen for breakfast, that is, if you dont get lost first. this house has a wonderful, sweet staff that keeps it clean and the gardens cared for, they’re the nicest, most hospitable people. its right out of some old hindi movie, part devdas, part the far pavilions.

66/5, green path
another swanky address, and talk about saving the best for last. i love love love this house. if there ever was a home away from home for me, this would be it. in this house live my favourite cousins and my wonderful aunt. located so conveniently, this house gets used by so many people for quick-stops, for showers, for parties, for jam-sessions. used extensively by royalists and bishopians of years past and years to come, this house has come to be widely popular. inevitably, everytime someone drops me off there, they always end up saying ‘ah, i know this house no’. people are bound to have come for a party here, come for some rehearsal or the other, to get dressed before shakes and to take your make-up off after. this house is a hot spot on anyone’s map. i use this house like its mine, and never have i been told that im misusing my privileges, such is the magnanimosity that this house is built upon. a lot of people think i live there, because of the amount of time i spend there. some of the best times that we have shared, cousins, friends, family friends, from our colourful childhood right up until last week, have been at this house. my family lived here right after i was born, after my mother and i flew down from the netherlands, when i was about 6 months old. my formative years were spent in this house, growing up as one with D and N and isuru and venuri. even after we moved out, our families made sure that we kids maintained healthy relationships with each other. and it sure as hell worked, i know few other people that know me as well as they do, and that i love as much as i love them. this house has been witness to some pretty amazing things, some landmark moments in all our lives. i cant even begin to jot down the sheer enormity of all the memories this place holds. being big, with a big garden, this house will never be overcrowded, this is the philosophy that my aunt believes to be true. with its doors always open to any of our friends, people walk in and out of this house like it is their’s. this is a fabulous place, and all those who know it, will agree.

i’m a people person. i’m attached to people more than places, and draw my energy from whoever i’m with, as opposed to wherever i am. i can be content, or discontent on the person/people im with, and the place specifically does not have much bearing on my mood. however, ive been compelled to write about a few places that will always be dear to me. if there’re any places that will always make me happy in this world, you’re going to read about them in a bit. whether im alone or with someone, whether i am happy or not, these places will always radiate a warmth and comfort that you usually only find in one place : that place called home.

the cities
i love the city, i love living in the city. as wonderful as it is to get out of it once in awhile, i am one of those people who are drawn to the bustle, the heat, the noise, the rush of city-life. i could never live in a remote and serene place for too long. i require the energy, the always-busy-bursting-with-activity kind of life.

colombo
people always have something horrible to say about colombo, especially people who live here. many young people i know have that dream that most small-town kids have, to get out, to get free. to live fancy, hollywood lives outside of the under-developed yet catching up fast city of colombo, where everyone knows everyone, where everyone watches your every move, where everything you say or do is being scrutinized under a maginifying glass. the younger generation is caught up in a midsection of cross-culture. they want to be cool and hip, but their families, and sometimes even their consciences, wont allow them to go all the way. we were born into certain levels of conservative-ness, no matter how broadminded our families are. colombo is glorious, the very things about it that annoy me are the very things i treasure, there’s nowhere else you’re going to find them. caught deep in this web of families that interconnect and family-friends that stay in touch, its difficult to be unnoticed, but also difficult to be unloved. i love colombo, with its blossoming western traits, and yet things that make it sri lankan in an ever-green way.

amsterdam
if there’s anywhere out of the country that has a calling to my senses as much as SL does, its amsterdam. i love everything about it, the laid back people, the coffee houses and qauint little cafes on every street corner, the sex shops and the predominantly gay culture. the museums, the art, the literature, the canals that run through most of the city. everyone is very open and i love this about dutch people. they are not out to prove anything to anyone, even if you’re differently coloured, like i found with lots of white peole when in their countries. a lot of this makes amsterdam also the ultimate party city, and partying is one of the things i do best. i love all the buildings, colonial and historic, the sheer lack of ghastly sky scrapers and the over all neatness and well maintained feel it has. the atmosphere is wonderful, very chilled and relaxed. just the way i like it.

delhi
another place that has the same inclinations as colombo does, a lot of people cuss it, but i love it all the same. the theatre life is amazing, there are always dancers, actors and performers otherwise of a super standard performing in delhi. the buildings, especially on the swanky streets that still house a lot of the stuff from the period when they were under british rule, are a fantasy. i love the markets, the little reveloutionary stores (peeple tree etc) that sell odds and ends from clothes with weird slogans to underground type indian music. delhi also has convenient locating…its 6 hours by train away from another favourite part of india: rajasthan, the desert.

london
yes yes, london’s alright. would never live there, given the opportunity, not for too long anyway, but yes, its bloody awesome in many ways. camden market, the little pubs, the pretty little coffee houses, the thames, the globe theatre, the sadler’s wells ballet, the west end, the cobbled streets, its all marvelous and just like i always imagined it to be. london has that ‘buzz’ surrounding it evidently, its presence is crystal clear. i love the punks, the weird shops you stumble into, and all the lovely, dainty things you find in unexpected street corners. and the food. the fresh fruit, the desserts, the breads. yes, london is enigmatic and captivating in its own way.

i havent blogged in awhile. i’ve been busy, if not uninspired.

sunday : ru, indi and i went for the alien accent concert at the bishop’s college auditorium. alien accent has always been one of the more professional and better local bands around town. their originals are tasteful, their covers are justifiable. the two times i’ve seen them perform before that night, its always been to much smaller audience, and on a vert different stage. both times, i’ve seen them perform acousitc sets. dillain joseph, the feisty female lead vocalist, has a phenomenal voice. the three of them combined, pull off the finest of harmonies. their choice of covers are always clever and brilliant, the originals have thoughtful lyrics. besides the trio itself, they had a great bunch of musicians backing them up, people on flutes and violins, thablas and electric guitars, and two drummers. there was even a little boy who drummed for two songs, so little you could barely see him behind the kit. it was a show of good local talent, after a considerably long time. ru and indi are pretty cool. i am just getting over how pretty ru is. she’s great, all motherly and talks alot. indi is not at all like i imagined he would be, and that’s a good thing. very chilled, genuinely nice people.

monday : it was issa’s 20th birthday. issa is one of the few people that i’ve literally known and loved for as long as i can remember. we, not so intelligently, turned up at hus house at 10 pm with enough coke, cake and unhealthy food of that type to last a month atleast, opened the doors, let ourselves in, and waited for him to come back from the family dinner being held at his aunt’s for his birthday. we did not foresee having to wait for HOURS for the loser to turn up, and finally decided to call him and tell him not so kindly that there were 10 of his very best friends (who fel like dropping this title more and more as the night wore on) at his house trying very hard to throw him a surprise after-party. when he came, we were sprawled all over, some sleeping, some, just about. it was him yelling ’surprise’, followed by our angry war cries and dejan’s drugged ’someone just kill the bugger now’. all in all, it was unconventional but fun. we did the usual mad things we seem compelled to do when flocked together. i looked around, and like i always do, realized what wonderful friends i have been blessed with. there was smrit and D, with their wild dance moves, who always know exactly how i feel, who always know exactly what to do and say and when, who knew why i suddenly burst itno tears that night, on a perfecly happy ocassion, and better yet, who knew not to ask, not to question, but just to draw each other into a girl-group-hug. there was stephen, with his hippie look carried out to perfection, guppy with his weird goatie and even weirder lip ring, sean and tash (happily engaged) with their beyond-understanding compatibility that keeps reminding me that people just need to try to get along with everyone else, dejan with his pipe and gu with the endless bad humour. issa drove me back with gu in the backseat. good ole reliable humphrey is still a good ride. we listened to the dhol foundation really loud with the shutters down.

tuesday : up and left (as someone aptly put it) with friends to yapahuwa. slept the whole way there. the climb was long and reasonably tiring, but the view was fantastic. kind of a smaller version of sigiriya. detoured to arang kale (amazing, green and quiet) and then to dambadeniya (3rd capital of ceylon) with stops for lunch and drinks on the way, and headed back to colombo. got home past 11. i love how lush and paradise-ish sri lanka looks from miles above the ground. how infinite and never-ending things seem, how every trivial issue just vanishes with the blowing wind. i love my girl friends. dambadeniya was nice, the peak is nice and private, and we sat there for a long time, watching the sun set and noting the changing colours of the sky. we drove back with the stars and landscape rushing by, the windows down and listening the soppiest music ever, in a large tangle of arms and legs, one on top of another. talking about boys, problems (usually connected) drinking, literature and politics, and singling along when required, i felt the best of love and friendship in hands and feet and toes and thumbs.

today was a chilled day, making up for yesterday’s exhaustion. slept alot, stayed in the whole day and read my book. went later to the wendt with shazz to watch a staging of the sinhala translated version of henrik ibsen’s master builder. interesting, all in all. i dont really feel up to a full review just now.

another post when there’s anything worth saying…