Portrait

i’m still high on the WOMAD experience, i’m still bouncing around to the rhymths in my head and relishing each glimpse of the autographed programme/souvenir that’s still lying on my desk, open. i’m missing it terribly. the music, the people, the manual labour.

i’m missing the boy too. they say there are some things you never get used to, no matter how many times you’ve ‘been there and done that’. i think having to be away from someone you love is one of those things. my mother’s work has made her a constant globe trotter, and she has been since i can remember. seeing as how she has never neglected her work to large extents, and also how she has always managed to be there for us in more ways than most others with the same job would’ve managed, its something i never got used to. she goes away frequently, sometimes for a few days, a couple of weeks, but sometimes for longer, a month, months even. even though we keep in touch avidly, and have lenghty chats the moment she is back, i still miss her everytime. people reckon its something i should be used to by now. as if. my friends reckon by now it should have gotten a tad easier, but easier isnt what it has become. i havent grown accustomed to him being away, to tracy being away. what its become, is just one of those things you tell yourself you have to live with. the ‘life is not fair. too bad’ kind of thing.

i had a tiring day. however, i think many of us are slowly regressing back in time instead of growing ‘up’ like, apparently, we’re supposed to be doing. this way is more fun. i find us behaving in a much more ridiculous fashion than we ever did when we were nine or ten yours younger, when that code of behaviour was somewhat acceptable and tolerated with a fond ‘ah, children’. today we had an unpleasant episode with a tyrannical adult. to cut a long story short, it ended with her telling us, sneeringly, to ‘grow up’. whatever for though? people expect less from kids. kids have no responsibilites, no duties, no boyfriends and best friends who are incindentally miles away.

i’m hanging in there pretty successfully though, if i may say so myself. with a formula that combines great friends who are always there, endless quantities of good food that is always available, somewhere, somehow, and the fantastic new chemical brothers album ‘push the button’ that i own, i’m actually doing alright.

yelemba d’abidjain from cote d’vioire, doing their workshop at the gallery on the beira

the WOMAD sri lanka festival of drums ended last night, with a bang, on the galle face green. the organizers and the volunteer force popped open bottles of champagne, the artists hugged, talked and exchanged contact detials, groupies (and not so groupie-sh groupies reluctantly) went around, markers in hand. it was the end of a truly unbelievable showcase of the world’s best drumming and the world’s finest drummers.

over the past 5 days, the dhol foudation (india/UK) showed us how to party punjab style, seeming like we were actually under the spell of ‘bhang’, a part of the poppy flower which punjabi farmers used to consume to ‘take flight’ (hence the word ‘bhang-ra’), the drummers of burundi (burundi) showed us the thunderous beats and acrobatic steps that descend all the way from an ancient tradition that is indegenous to burundi, wicked aura batucada (singapore) showed us how to keep it young, and how to keep it wicked with their truly awesome fusion of traditional and contemporary, yelemba d’abidjain (cote d’ivoire) showed us the extraordinary, high-energy beats and movements from the deepest corners of tribal west africa, joji hirota and the taiko drummers (japan) showed us the traditions of drumming in japan, marvelling us with the strength, commitment and discipline it takes to be a good traditional drummer in japan, toto la momposina (columbia) showed us the sassy steps and infectious rhythms from native spanish and indian traditions, asere (cuba) showed us adventures in cuban soul, teaching us the salsa and the cha-cha while delivering powerful and vibrant music, drumming and vocals, the bays (UK) showed us the magic of improvisation, the sheer delirium of hearing seriously good techno played live, the chemirani zarb trio (iran) showed us iranian tradition, playing together like the family that they actually are, bill cobham (USA) showed us, quite simply, why he is ‘the bill cobham’, ravibandu and his ensemble (sri lanka) showed us all the reasons why we must burst with pride at our sri lankan identity, and trilok gurthu (india) showed us exactly why he is called the legendary drummer, composer and musician that he is, bringing all the aritsts together in one mind blowing finale in a way that only a master of his trade could have.

the dhol foundation boys, starting up a party during workshops at the gallery on the beira

johnny kalsi wanted to one day, make me the dhol foundation’s official on-the-road hospitatlity manager, i think i could live with that. it has been absoloutely amazing, working with the artists, and the committed WOMAD organizers and volunteers alike, meeting some of the most talented sound engineers, DJs, sound techincians, event co-ordinators, and of course, drummers, dancers and musicians the world has to offer. the artist were so laid back, so chilled, so modest, and super easy to work with. it has been a taste of professionalism at such a high standard, that most local artists lack, a taste of international understanding, and of what WOMAD is truly about : bringing the cream of all the world’s cultures and countries together on one stage, to create a stunning symphony of traditions and people from places that are as different as they are alike.

the grand finale, galle face green. johnny kalsi (the dhol foundation) in the center, bill cobham right at the back on his oh-s0-distinctive kit, the drummer andy from the bays on the kit next to him, the ravibandu ensemble on the left and the right, yelemba d’bidjain on the right, trilok gurthu in the middle, conducting the dummers.

note : images borrowed from dreamwizard. (on kottu)

that’s the title of the new album by the dhol foundation, one of the many fan-bloody-tastic bands that played at the first galle face event of the WOMAD sri lanka festival of drums last night. ok, lets face it. i’m in love with the dhol foundation. isn’t everyone? with their adraneline pumping, arms-throwing-up-in-the-air, bhangra beat punjab dhol music, their boy-band performance that includes jumping around impressively with their dhols tied around their middles, their cool spikes and their sexy british accent, they really started a party. no wait… asere, the cuban group, actually started the party with their sexy salsa beats and bill cobham on the drums…the dhol foundation just kept it up.

its been amazing so far. the finale was breathtaking. everyone got onstage, to bring the first galle face night to a mind blowing end. everyone is of such a professional standard, everything goes so smooth-ly, and everyone is so utterly sweet and talented. from the chemirani brothers from iran, to the taiko drummers from japan, to 64 year old toto (who dances like she’s 16) and her gang from columbia…the festival has been truly a once in a lifetime experience. ofcourse, being a volunteer has helped a great deal. it would not have been the same watching from the audience. this means i got to take pictures of bill cobham’s kit (and pictures with the man himself), chat up his sound technician, chat to and receive hugs from yash and kalps from the dhol foundation, and talk to everyone from the sound guys to the artists. aidan (from wicked aura, singapore) said ‘looking forward to tomorrow, ms. in-charge of workshops’. johnny kalsi (from the dhol foundation, england) said ‘you have to be the sweetest thing ever’. the girl (from yelemba abidjain, cote d’ivoire) said ‘you dance well’. i mean, this is the life people. i could do this forever. i should do this forever.

everyone who’s been missing this spectacle so far has to get themselves down to galle face tonight, 6-12.

world of music, arts and dance, otherwise known as WOMAD, is a huge international organization that is synonymous with some of the worlds biggest and most extravagent festivals, carnivals and celebrations of music and dance and most other forms of art. brazil, the united states of america, africa, singapore are just a few of the exotic locations that have played host to WOMAD festivals over the past decade or so, WOMAD organizing sometimes more than 15 festivals in one year, across the globe. this year, as many of you may have already noticed, good ole colombo has been picked as the newest hot-spot on the WOMAD map.

without further ado, i suggest that ALL OF YOU do not miss this opportunity to get your lazy asses down to the WOMAD sri lanka festival of drums events starting…well, today. its already begun. there is a fantastic line-up, and i cant even begin to imagine what a wonderful experience this is going to be. there are drummers and musicians from all corners of the world, japan, burundi, USA, india, iran, colombia, UK, cuba…and ofcourse, sri lanka itself. over the next five days, staying rooted mostly in colombo, but moving to negombo and kandy for an acoustic concert in each city, WOMAD has organized a breathtaking festival and this is not be missed. for a detailed overview of the entire programme of events, times and locations, i suggest you take a look at the WOMAD site, but here’s the basic gist…

at the galle face green : a free event. with performances by all artists on two stages, with workshops and the stalls that create the ‘global village’. saturday the 24th and sunday the 25th, from 6.00pm to 12.00mn.

at the bishop’s college auditorium : performances by various artists on various nights, this will be a seated theatre event for which entrance will be by ticket (rs. 2800/-) only. wednesday the 21st to friday the 23rd 7.30pm to 10.00pm, and saturday the 24th 3.30pm to 6.30pm.

at the gallery on the beira lake : a free event, workshops conducted by the artists performing at the festival, giving anyone the chance to meet and learn from the artists themselves. thursday the 22nd, to sunday 25th from 5.00pm to 7.00pm.
: club sessions with DJ sets as well as WOMAD artists jamming together to bring you a night of fun. entrance by ticket (rs. 1500/-) only. but this is a cover charge, so its more than worth it. thursday the 22nd to sunday the 25th from 9.00pm to 12.00mn.

take a look at the detailed schedule everyone, and here are a few tips. DO NOT MISS wicked aura, billy cobham or the drummers of burundi, although everyone else is probably not to be missed either. club session on thursday night is bound to be the best of the lot, as there will be DJ sets as well as the WOMAD artists jamming. on some club nights, you will only find some of bands and not too many or all of the artists nor any DJs.

stand back, and let the drumming begin…

i tried to not cry. i swear i tried. it didnt quite work though. had to rush from the entrance to the lady’s at colombo plaza sobbing my eyes out quite loudly the minute he walked out that door. the entire troop of girls i was with followed at my heel, hence heightening everyone’s suspicion that something (with us or otherwise) was fundamentally wrong. he was there so briefly, and when i hugged him everything inside me just…crumbled. everything just got constricted and painful.

i’m gutted. that’s the only way i can even begin to describe how i feel. i dont feel like trying to elaborate on this. i dont feel like much at all, period.

i had a violent reaction this morning to the dinner last night (and to him leaving. sub conscoiusly, im pretty certain that this had a lot to do with it as well.) threw up a bunch of times and felt completely wasted till my grandmother gave me the usual ayurvedic muck (that worked like a prayer) and i slept on it for about an hour. woke up feeling back to normal and re energized.

what for? it was only to feel deflated again.

i calmed down after awhile, realizing that, over the last 3 days i’ve been preparing myself for this. everything, every emotion, has been heightened. felt more. i have been bursting into tears at the most random moments. i have been crying unreasonably, and having these full blown panic attacks; ‘what am i doing? what am i going to do? NO, dont tell me to calm down! i cant clam down. why should i? he’s going away isn’t he? so, no, i cant calm down. i cant even bloody breathe, what’s this about calming down? DON’T tell me to calm down!’

i dont know how i’m going to find the strengh to cope with this, but i’m certain beyond a doubt that this is what i want. to miss him, to be apart and try and still be ‘together’, the heaviness from not having the one person that i have wanted this much in a long time, the unbearable and overwhelming sense of panic that pushes through me…yes. this is what i want.

last night was hilarious. i was literally broke to the core, for the first time in my entire life. or maybe i was out and broke to the core for the first time in my life. incidentally, everyone i was with happened to be pretty damn broke too. lots of us met up at bistro, and after ordering and whatnot, just moved onto dancing. when the bill came, we all kind of rushed around getting every last cent out of each of our wallets to pay it. a lesson learnt the hard way. and i was only broke because i went berserk at sakura during lunch. not forgetting having dinner at sea spray (the buffet at that) on thursday night. let me backtrack…

i swear i didnt know that the buffet at sea spray (at the galle face hotel) was on on any other days except the fridays and saturdays, as is usual, when i suggested sea spray to savi. well, savi did persistently nag for a decision and refused to make it herself. and when she did, she said cricket club. BORING! so i went ahead and suggested my dream-dinner place, sea spray, completely unaware that it would stunt my financial comfort for the next two days to come. but i’m still glad we went. sitting so close to the sea always has an amazing impact on me. i can enjoy myself, no matter what. of course, i was blessed with exceptionlly good company too. savi and i went there, and talked for awhile, after having comforted each other about the ‘buffet’ situation that was unexpected. after having been given strict instructions by mr.fabulous to take it ‘insanely slow’ till he joined us, savi and picked a table right on the terrace, and while getting mildly drenched by the warm and salty spray from the sea just below us, we just ordered drinks and had a hearty girl-to-girl chat that we could only have before he turned up. of course, he made a grand entrace, the idiot. he stole (or not, he tells me) a flower from the reception. subsequently your’s truly was gifted with this unexpected gesture of ‘romance’. touched and stunned alike, i was stupefied when the thought of not having either of the two people i was sitting with that night, sooner than i was prepared for, sprang into my head. after dinner, the three of us walked along the galle face green, talked for awhile and then piled into savi’s car to head home. savi has already left, and im really glad we met this summer.

i have stratiegically strengthened my resolve, or so i would think. with the departures of trace, N and V, in rapid succession over the past month, you’d expect me to have gotten the hang of saying ‘good bye and see you soon’. however, everytime i think of how close monday is, im overcome by this urge to sit down and weep. just once, i gave into this urge. the rest of the time, i’ve managed to bite the bullet and keep the tears at bay. im almost tickeled by what a sop i’ve turned into. it would be amusing, if i wasnt already so scared.

last night was fun though, after ages, we regressed back to our tradition of going out ‘girls only’. D, smrit and i had a blast dancing to the wonderful salsa music.

i have discovered ‘better than ezra’. a wonderful band, with great music and clever, perceptive and sensitive lyrics. the lead vocalist also has an amazing voice. ‘a lifetime’ has to be my favourite.

my brother is back, and its nice to have him around after so long.

the play is actually pretty ok, it turns out. despite me saying all kind of things from ‘DO NOT come to watch it’ to ‘where’s my brown paper bag that goes over my head?’, it has turned out pretty good, and miracle of miracles, funny even. i must say, honestly, and this is mean, i thought this play was disastrous. a week ago no one knew most of their lines, the cues were all horribly off, and the humour had just turned stale. personally, this kind of farcical, slap stick, indu dharmasena-ish humour doesn’t do it for me. the only time stuff like that works out is if and when everything is slick and perfect, like in caught in the net. i was imagining bad reviews, people trashing it, and my friends running from me in embarrassment.

opening night went alarmingly well, everyone remembered their lines (or managed to pretend to anyway), everyone managed to be audible and coherent (only by speaking so slow and so loud that they felt like retards) and the audience laughed and responded well to the play. my friends liked it very much, and knowing that most of them have alarmingly good taste in theatre and the likes, this is quite a compliment. i got three lots of flowers! one lot from one of my best friends nuksh, one lot from two other friends who came to watch; banana and the-r-sha, and the others…from anonymous-till-this-morning. very touching.

today too was a good day for the play. despite an embarrassing incident involving me and some red roses, it went off well.

i went mad about a week ago, and during a crazy shopping trip to MC (after ages) with my friend nabila, who is my sister of sorts since recently, bought the DVDs of the disney beauty and the beast, the hunchback of notre dame and all the lion kings. i watched the beauty and the beast last morning, and i type this just after i finished watching the hunchback. beauty and the beast has to be my all time favourite disney. its so beautifully animated, and the music is so phenomenal. the hunchback has personal significance because we did a marvelous medley from it for our huge choir production this year, and we had great fun mastering it. we did a fantastic job with it, if i may say so myself, harmonizing for the ‘god help the outcasts’ solo, looking like we pray everyday for the latin prayer bits and dancing around like crazy for ‘topsy turvy day’. this collection will not be complete without my second favourite disney, the little mermaid, the old ones; snow white and the seven dwarves, the sleeping beauty, cinderella, and of course jungle book as someone reminded me, pocahontas and alladin. and all the winnie the poohs.

more later…

today in a few hours, it will be my opening night. despite my misgivings about this play and regretting being in it at all, many times over the course of two months of rehearsals, the fact remains i have had fun. and tonight is the opening night, and no amount of pessimism can take away the rush i woke up with. i haven’t been on stage in sometime, specifically at the good old wendt, (which deserves a post on its own) and am looking forward to it. besides, i really love the girls on the cast. i’m so glad i met them. like im sure ive said before, the friends you make during times like these last a good forever. even if its to make an utter spectacle of myself, here goes nothing!

my friends are damn persistent. after me having me told them endlessly to NOT come for the play, it turns out most (MOST. most. not all. hmph) of them are. one of them even, oh so subtlely, messaged me and asked me this morning what flowers i like. very smooth. and i must admit, as much as i repetitively proclaimed that i didnt want anyone i know seeing this play, im happy they’re going to be there. it will make sheer embarassment easier to take. unless they’re the ones causing it, which too, is more than possible.

it was my friend guppy’s (dont ask. iroms is to blame for that messed up rendition of his perfectly normal name) birthday yesterday. i got dragged out from the wendt at about 10.30 pm (scraped off the floor, rather) and taken haggardly to the thomian fair. it was fun, but i was too tired to really go all out and do any of the fair-things except eat. and eat. and eat. it was an exceptionally wonderful night anyway, mr fabulous made sure of that.

i hope guppy has a wonderful year, he deserves nothing less.

that phrase is so commonly used, so easily said. how many times have you told someone ‘deal with it’, how many times have you been told, ‘deal with it’? as it so often is, this is another one of them sayings that can be categorized by yet another saying : easier said than done.

sure, it might be nice to actually and sincerely be able to ‘deal with it’ when shit happens, sometimes non-stop for a long time. but dealing with it, whatever it may be, requires a person to stop being reactive. to cease reacting to situations, to feelings, to people, atleast in an expected and typical way. there seems to be a certain set of reactions all humans seem to abide by. certain feelings that are bound to come up in certain situations, certain actions you might want to take that are bound to force their way into your head when faced with certain people. what if, one day, you could stop reacting the way in which you usually would? what if, one day, when someone yells at you, you dont yell back? what if, one day, when someone you trust hurts you, you dont cry? what if, one day, someone threatens something about your being and your existence, and you dont get angry or vengeful? what if, one day, someone you cant be without leaves you, and you dont beg them to stay? what if, one glorious day, you wake up to find yourself capable of dealing with anything, because you simply do not react the way your body and your instincts have trained you to?

so yeah, i’m trying. i’m trying to ‘deal with it’. tracy is back in malaysia, and i wont see her till december, and that for 10 days. i miss her. i miss her to bits. but i have to deal with it. mr. fabulous makes each day more difficult to face, because he keeps reminding me how close to perfect he is, but also that the day on which he leaves draws nearer. but i have to deal with it. i dont know what i want from life, or what i want at all. but i have to deal with it.

someone once said to me, ‘you need to be two things to get through life. strong, and yourself’. even if ‘being yourself’ means you take every situation possible, and turn it into something so dramatic, so blown out of proportion, so larger-than-life, so complicated and ultimately so painful, that you never know how to ‘deal with it’, (which is what life is like, being yourself, for me), you will find that that is exactly what life requires of you. to deal with it.

i’ve been having a crazy few days…

tracy and i went movie shopping, (managed to buy the old ‘the exorcist’ and pulp fiction. yaaay) came back to my place and stayed up watching amityville horror, and bridget jones’ diary 2; the edge of reason. amityville horror was ok, nothing too scary, but nothing too mundane like ring 2 or the grudge. bridget jones’ 2 was, like the first, heartwarming, her remaining the evergreen, utterly idiotic and sweet every-woman’s-heroin faithfully. also came home that day to find that mr. fabulous was doing a fantastic job of wooing me (is that what he’s trying to do?) for he had sent me flowers.

i went to two places that i’ve never been to before. i went to bistro latino (on duplication road) last night, and really enjoyed it. the music was really good, and its a well done version of a salsa bar. not forgetting i was in exceptionally good company. after dinner, i went to a friend’s house on marine drive for ‘drinks’…and well. lets just stay out of that topic of conversation. tonight, tracy’s parents took us out for dinner to macky’s, my other first time experience. the food was good. trace and i went back to bistro after dinner. i danced around a bit with this guy from kevin’s (the local god of salsa, i swear) salsa class. he was really good, and i managed to (somehow) keep up. it was really fun. the music is such a turn on. nothing beats the time i danced with a (real) cuban in this salsa bar in london, though.

tracy leaves early sunday morning. trying not to think about it, i haven’t grasped the depth of the problem yet.