babies…
i got locked out of my own room on friday. that was un-funny to the core. i shut the door to my room on my way out to take a shower and when i came back my room door was locked, from the inside. paranoia set in, and i thought there was someone inside my room…and there wasn’t. something had mysteriously happened to make my door lock from the inside upon my banging it shut. so i was forced to break open the window pane, open the window, and crawl in through it every time i wanted something. does one even want to imagine how this must have felt? having to creep in and out of your own room? there is no justice. none whatsoever.
yesterday was a nice day. we had lunch at D’s. everyone was pretty much there. we talked alot about each other’s weddings-to-be, since S was the only one out of us who actually already had one. when walking to the shop for coke, S and avidly discussed pregnancy, labour, children and i decidedly proclaimed that by the time i’m pregnant she better be there every bloody step of the way because i’ll just give up and die if not…she agreed to do this on the condition that i be completely at her disposal next year, which is when she has decided to ‘get pregnant’. it just then hit me that soon, we were all going to be very much a part of S and her pregnancy. the thought fills me with love. love for S, and love for whoever she will produce. wow. a baby in the family. i dont think there has ever been anyone who’s that close to me getting pregnant. not recently enough for me to have cared and remembered it, anyway. its the overwhelming sense of enormity in something like that, that humbles me. what a life changing thing. S will have children. and i’m actually going to be there alot of the way, holding her when she throws up, cleaning up her toilet, bringing her whatever she needs whenever she needs it (these are conditions drawn up by her, btw). i’m going to watch this kid grow, every step of the way. from being a bulge in S’s tummy, to being an actual baby , to being an individual with personality and zest. i’ll be there to bug him/her about all the silly things he/she did as a baby, when he/she is older and pretending he/she knows none of her mother’s nutty friends, to watch him/her go to school, to watch him/her grow into another inevitably bound branch of this ever-extending family. and then, as S and i agreed, he/she will baby sit my kids. hah.
tracy is coming on friday! yiipppeeee! like this friday! how exciting is that? i cant wait. i have missed her so much.
