just in case…
just in case no one has noticed :
a) i’m not someone who has ever (for as long as i can remember) been someone who is afraid of who she is and is ashamed of how she feels. i always like getting stuff out there in the open and up front, no matter how embarrassing it may be. my definition of embarrassing is really humoungously broad. so very little embarrasses me now…especially not any of my opinions or feelings on anything. or anyone.
b) i have never been afraid to act on how i feel. never been afraid to act on impulses and spur of the moment whims. this means me resorting to usually desperate measures, but as i said, i’m not ashamed to admit that sometimes i go for things i like or want with a little more enthusiasm than usual. this also usually means i get into big trouble, but acting on impulses and raw feeling, i must say, has always been a healthy expression of myself, and has also allowed me to generally have fun with my life.
c) i judge people. doesnt everybody? i’d like to correct any self-righteous, pompous ass that thinks passing judgements is an evil thing to do. BULLSHIT. its not. its perfectly normal, and sometimes even safe to be able to pass judgements. how vulnerable would we be if we had no basic instinct about a certain person? being a woman etc, i also tend to go with my intuition alot, and tend to strongly believe that most judegements i make are correct. this is only because (and i’m not boasting) i know for a fact that i make reasonably fair judgements. i try my best not to judge people i dont know all that well unfairly, and try not to be too limited in my relationship with them because of what i think of them. after all, this is because i understand and accept the fact that my judgement could be wrong.
d) this brings me to the end… i change my mind. alot. and you know what? that’s ok. i’ve finally come to accept that that’s an inevitable part of being young and restless like i am, and an equally inevitable part of being me. i’m almost a different person everyday. i change my mind, and frankly, i think thats better than someone who is totally incapable of changing their mind. i may form an opinion on something or someone and then decide, once i become more familiar with the subject, that i was wrong, and that i have a new opinion. so none of my judgements, opinions or beliefs (atleast most of them) are set in stone. this is because i have never believed that i’ve been through it all, that i know it all. i’ve lived very little in comparison to many, not just by years, but by experience. and we are little but the sum of our experience right? hence, i’ve come to costantly tell myself that i’m not always right. that i could sometimes be wrong. because of this innate belief of mine that my opinions can be subject to drastic change, i’ve made friends who are irreplacable and come to love those i once disliked. i wouldnt give them up for anything in the world.
take for example this chick savithri, who ‘met me’ while leaving comments on indi’s blog. at first i thought she was malicious, vicious, the works. then it just hit me ‘hey, who the hell am i to be judging her and hating on her? i dont even know her. i know nothing about her, or her life, and i have no right to be thinking things like that about her’. there. savithri, you’re ok. i have no problem with you. at all. it doesnt matter if you feel differently. take for the example the twins. i’ve been told endlessly that they’re this and that, and i actually took a few careful looks at them and thought ‘what spoilt rich kids’. now that i know a little (just a little) better, i must say, i’m pleasantly surprised. they aren’t spoilt rich kids, even if they are, its ok, because their not horrible spoilt rich kids. they’re really nice, actually. atleast from what i can tell. and even if they are, what gives me the liberty to judge them? in someone else’s eyes, i’m probably a spoilt rich kid too. there’s this girl, who is allegedly a lesbian with a crush on me. i confess, that was a little unnerving, and she IS a little weird. but then so am i. after getting to know her over the past two months or so, i have to take back everything i thought about her. she is really nice, and i’m so glad we’re friends.
so…whatever i once said about you or to you, i probably think differently now. you should probably mail me or something and get the update, because i’d hate for you to go through life thinking ‘that chick electra you know, she never liked me’ because i dislike very very few people. because that’s probably wrong.
ps - i’m leaving in about an hour…i’ll keep blogging! this should be fun…right?
hi electra, thanks 4 ur email. maybe i did go off on a tangent at u on indi’s blog.. i should learn to control my temper !! and no i’ve got no ‘malicious’ or vicious’ feelings towards u cos u haven’t done anything (yet) ..lol…to provoke those tendencies. i just thought u were rude and annoying and judgemental cos of the attitude u gave me on indi’s blog.. but that’s a 2 way street right?
and yes Jee and Je did c ur blog.. cos someone else told them abt it and when u type in ‘jeevaka and jehan’ on google the first thing that comes up is ur blog
but u knew that already..
hv a good trip.. and if u want to meet up in london drop me a email.
Comment by savi3 — June 24, 2005 @ 8:17 am
I didn’t know people still used LOL in their sentences…! Brats!!! Is it immatuarity or rather ignorance?
Comment by Scourge — June 24, 2005 @ 8:59 am
i know !!.. funny aint it ??… lol….
Comment by SpectralCentroid — June 24, 2005 @ 9:54 am
scourge: LOL… i’ll take the ‘brat’ as a compliment actually.. thanks v much.. LOL…
Comment by savi3 — June 24, 2005 @ 12:13 pm
Savi3 : taking the brat bit as a compliment would lead me to believe that you are too old to be using LOL in your sentences. Old enough to miss the days when LOL was an in thing and people were still facinated with chatting and coming up with abreviations for every word; the time when texting was the coolest thing and one would find ways and means of reducing the number of characters in a given word.
While some grow out of it some of us don’t i suppose.
Before I forget, the fact that you didn’t take my comment personally and in the way you responded I presume you are a well settled person.
Comment by Scourge — June 24, 2005 @ 12:47 pm
scourge: i am definitely OLD no question abt that hence brat was a welcome compliment. to be honest i hadn’t noticed LOL was ‘uncool’ to use.. it just seems to come naturally as i type…like a subconscious thing i’m not even aware of, like i use a smiley face a lot when i type and piss electra off using abbreviations like ‘u’ and ‘c’ and ‘ur’.. when i SMS however, i find i i use far fewer abbreviations than most ppl and tend to exceed the word limit per text quite quickly..
as u rightly said some grow out of these things some don’t…
i’m not really a ‘well settled person’ at all but i am TRYING ..glad someone noticed
Comment by savi3 — June 24, 2005 @ 1:47 pm
hey there Savi ‘foul mouthed’ 3, i dont knw what ur problem is but u ve caused enough unpleasentness in ppl s blogs instead may i suggest that you go have ‘MSN chats’ with your precious little Jay and GEE or whatever their names are.honestly… who in the world turned out nasty foul mouthed losers like this…
Comment by Tash — June 25, 2005 @ 12:47 am
Tash: who r u? u sound like u got the problem not me.. so back off!
Comment by savi3 — June 25, 2005 @ 11:04 am
tash : i would prefer it if we try and control ourselves a littler on my blog…just a little? savithri, just like you do, has a right to expression and has pretty much the liberty to say what she wants…i keep emphasizing on what a strong believer i am on the acceptance of different opinions…if anyone annoys you, try doing what i do : tune them out. works like a prayer.
Comment by Electra — June 25, 2005 @ 3:54 pm
just off the topic a little here…but that comment on my blog was in no way meant to be an insult or a ‘brush-off’ aite? Was referring to a post on your blog..but nevermind…its been deleted. As per your request, will mail you. Jus one little problem. I need an address
Comment by Anush — June 28, 2005 @ 6:41 am
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Comment by testanchor257 — November 9, 2005 @ 12:13 am