Portrait

i’m dedicating this post to this most amazing woman. this is the two of us at green path. go figure out which one is which. i’m just the better looking one.

yesterday was Iroms’s birthday everyone! yes, so those of you who haven’t done the needful, i suggest you hop to it, considering you’re already a day late.

about three days before her birthday, i was talking to D and smriti about what we could get her. D confirmed that her mother had taken her on a huge shopping spree and gotten her pretty much whatever she wanted (why, the spoilt brat!) and between the three of us, we were really stumped for ideas. now a weekend in beruwela popped into MY head. silly little head of mine that head is, pretty stupid because we were all largely broke. we can’t pack her off to beru all by herself right? i mean, we could, but that’s just heartless. and just her was all we had money for. so we racked our heads (and smiriti’s shaved one) and thought we need to surprise her. now surprises are always tricky business. it takes time and planning down to the tiniest detail, remnant of one of those interact projects we die organizing. we didnt have time. two days to be exact. what’s to be done? being smack bang in the middle of a working week, we decided throwing the biggest party of the century would prove to be a little difficult. plan B? buy her a cake. a big, fattening, childish cake. since she had pretty much everything she wanted (except something we cant wrap and present to her…ahem), we decided that we only wanted her to retain a little bit of the kid in her. the one she refuses to let out, yeah that one.

i immediately called up a friend in the cake business. they charge you the earth for doing these beautiful personalized cakes that taste good and look even better. have you noticed the little cakes at ODEL? the sweetarts or whatevers? the beautiful, intricate little things? she makes those. ok, she doesn’t charge the earth, and the cakes are totally worth every cent you pay, or in our case scrape up. (her name is lalanthi, her phone number is…ask me later) we talked a little, and after much manoeuvring smriti got iroms to tell us her favourite cartoon character who turned out to be donkey, from shrek. when i spoke to lalanthi however, it turned out that creating a donkey cake might be difficult since we had to get the picture to her etc all in one and a half days. seeing as lalanthi lives (and works) in kalubowila, and that we all had tight schedules, this probably wasn’t going to happen. recalling that iroms had mentioned tigger from winnie the pooh to be amongst her favourites as well. lalanthi had made a tigger cake before, so we settled for that. we got everyone to commit to come to green path at 2 pm on thursday for the cake cutting, and also to keep zipped about the whole thing.

come thursday. dutifully messaged iroms first thing in the morning, even before getting out of bed, and told her i had choir practise from 9 am to 2 pm. she said she was going to KFC (of all places) to have lunch with her sister, Kush. i told her i’d see her there at 2 for lunch, and then that we’d make a short trip to green path before she headed back to work. so i went to choir, and of course, choir was over at 12 noon. i came to green path, got renu, and went to arpico to purchase helium balloons. standing at the balloon counter was none other than Kush, also about to surprise (and embarrass) iroms at KFC with balloons. after having pressingly told kush to keep her big gap shut when she went to KFC to see iroms, and many ‘now remember, you DID NOT see us’s, she left, and renu and i bought 6 helium balloons of the brightest colours.

next we hopped a trishaw, and made our way to kalubowila. on the way, the red balloon popped, to our dismay, but renu consoled me by saying that she would stand there as she was dressed in red. we picked up the cake and it was perfect. not too big, and the tigger was adorable, and the wording was our very own ‘for the 20th time…happy birthday iroms!’ now bringing the cake all the way from kalubowila to colpetty proved to be the toughest part of the whole ploy, as it had just been iced, and it wasn’t in a box, just on a tray with an oil paper over it. the wind kept pushing the oil paper right down on the cake, and all (or most) of the rosettes on the sides were horribly squashed and deformed by the end of it. i was mortified. renu tried not to panic and said things like ‘i don’t think you want to hear this, but the lettering and tigger’s nose are melting…’ i cried and looked away and asked her never to tell me anything of the sort again. reach colpetty. i drop renu, the semi flopped cake and 5 balloons off at green path, and message iroms telling her choir just got over, and i was on my way to KFC at access towers. i make my way to KFC, promising to message smrit when we were nearing.

at KFC, the girls had made quite a ruckus. they had tied the balloons to iroms’s chair. iroms sat there looking pleased but dazed. after having hugged iroms, i convinced her i didnt want lunch (saving my appetite for the cake, you see) of course this blonde was not in the know. she said ok, and off we went to green path. now i’m frantically messaging smrit every two seconds, and upon not receiving any replies having a few minor heart attacks in the back of the car. we disembark at the green path house, and i take iroms in, talking at the top of my voice, hoping the duds who don’t reply very obviously urgent messages upstairs will now know that iroms is quite literally, in the house. i open the door, and “surprise!” and then we sing happy birthday flat and purposefully out of key. (i mean it’s happy birthday, IS there a key?) i must say the duds did a brilliant job with the arrangements. they tied the balloons along side the cake, and put candles on it and everything. the knife even had a red ribbon, just like when you were 6. (of course the ribbon came from the red balloon that popped in the trishaw, but no one needs to know that) then we took really silly photos, with the cake and the balloons, and acted like the true losers we are.

we were thrilled at the element of real surprise on her face, and how well all our plotting and scheming turned out. we laughed about how many times we had almost blown our cover, and how many times i had very nearly called iroms and asked her if she could come with me to buy the balloons, and about all our stupid antics, my loud talking included. and then we just imagined leaving us to organize a full blown surprise party. right. we’ll suck at it royally.

kos, i hope your birthday was good. i’m just so glad you were born, ** fine years ago. (wont reveal your age now, pretending is always fun isn’t it? ok ok. you’re not THAT old. NOT ) and even more glad that our paths happened to cross. anyway, old as you have become, so old in fact that i had to rethink calling this post ‘the bithrday girl’, you’re still beautiful, and insanely, unhealthily childish. and that’s what i want about you to remain the same. for like, good.

iroms, you gotta love her.