Portrait

March 22, 2005

friends sweet friends

Filed under: General

my friends. i love them.
i want to tell the world how much i really love them…

so i sat down here, at my computer, to write about my friends, and found myself (drumroll)…at loss for words. now this is a curious and oh so rare occurrence. if you know me, you’d know what i mean. ask those fabulous individuals themselves, if your ever privileged enough to cross their paths. my friends themselves will tell you i never run out of things to say.

where does one begin? but the more pressing question maybe, where does one end?

this blog, like most things in my life, simply would not have come into being without the combined efforts of many of my friends. (thanks mahangu, for having poisoned by mind with the thought a long time ago, it grew like a nutured plant. thanks iroms, for having put up with all my misgivings and the pessimism and the ‘i can’t show the whole world what i write!’, and actually taking me out for lunch and then sitting down and starting this up for me, thanks anukshi, for the wonderful name ideas, your creativity with words is boundless, although you tell me I’M the writer. thanks ammi, my oldest, greatest friend for the encouragement shown to me that night that changed my mind. sanjay, my bro, my worst nightmare, thanks for being so brave and inspiring. thanks trace for pledging to read and comment on my silly ole’ blog. i miss you)

they enrich my life. everyday. every moment.

their so amazing, each one so different, with different traits, together combining to bring together all the best human qualitities. they are soothing, yet sensible. kind, yet honest. they have left this mark on my being, that i find it impossible to imagine where i would be, or indeed WHO i would be, without their presence in my life. they are all, in their own way, the best. it would be idiotic to try to mention each one, and why they mean so much to me. but let me try to make a general sketch…

lets just start with saying their fabulous. their the most fun, daring, impestous, crazy people i know. but i see in me, the little things i’ve been taught by them. they are, truly, the essence of what it’s like to be perfect, what it’s like to be balanced, what it’s like to be human. i’m not saying they are without faults. sure, no one is perfect, and as much as its difficult to see MOST of the time (!), their not without their very own quirks. but you know what? i love them all the more for that. because in many ways, they are also the essence of what it’s like to be REAL.

in a time when it seems to me almost everyone is heavily misled, and horribly insincere, where many find the need to be a complete fake, where people concentrate so much on how to be perfect and how to be who the world wants you to be, i have let my friends teach me a valuable lesson. the importance of being brave and unashamed about who you are. the importance of being an individual in a world where everyone rushes to move in time with the masses, to go with the flow.

i love the way they so unexpectedly make me feel great about myself. i’m usually not too hot with compliments, but these guys (and girls, for those of you who might take that literally…ahem ahem) really know how to brighten my day with a simple, unusual compliment, placed totally out of the blue. it’s the smallest things that make my insides tingle. it’s the tiniest comments that make my day.

one day, sri lanka was having one of it’s million public holidays. i still had a drama and theatre class in the evening, and told my friend who goes with me to this class, to come over a little early so we can hang out before heading for class. when she came to my place, and i went out to open the gate for her, the first thing she said was ‘Oh woman, can i borrow your figure for one day?’ and i was SO flattered! silly? i think not. it sounded so much nicer, and meant so much more coming from her, rather than from some pervert on the road. at the famous Roy Tho, i was standing with a friend near the keells stall, drooling, in typical me style, in whispers, about this girl who standing a few feet away from us. (get used to it, i do that alot. don’t tell me its strange, deal with it.) and you know what he did? he just looked at me and said, ‘your not so bad yourself, girl’. and i was soaring. wow. just today, my friend wrote me this beautiful poem of very few lines. in it she said something to the effect of ‘you eat like a fortunate ethiopian, but i like you that way’ (ok, so i have a huge appetite, but its not the end of the world is it?) and then she stated ‘you are wonderfully creative, and i love you that way’. i laughed so hard, but the sobs rose fast up my chest and into my throat. how truly blessed i am, to be so loved, by such great people. my cousin left me a note on my desk in my absence, a few days after my birthday, in which she said ‘i like this girl, who looks up to me, who looks out for me, who looks WITH me, and some even say. to our secret delight, looks like me!’ and i was blown away. i cried so hard, never wanting to wake up to day in which she wasn’t going to be around, a moment in which i might have to learn to love her enough to let her go. someone recently told me that my name means beautiful, and that i am the epitome of it. another someone just told me that he likes the way my face lights up. the list goes on. i’m not trying to say i’m an insanely popular bimbo who thrives on flattery, i’m trying to say what gorgeous people i have for friends, and how wonderfully protected and secure i feel being in such a cocoon of love and care.

sometimes i sit in my room, looking at the photographs on my walls, and the cards and notes given to me by various friends at various ocassions (or not) and i think to myself, how blissfully content i am. how complete my life is. it scares me to imagine having to say my farewells to some of them, (tracy, i miss you everyday, and iroms…i cant believe how i’m gonna get by without our mad antics everyday) because eventually, it will happen. but someone once told me that that’s what life is about. a very smart someone. she is also said that life was about loving, and letting go, and in this case, coming back for the happy ending. i know it. :) i’m so insanely attached to them, so absoloutely nuts about them. i dont ever want to have to get by without them, i dont ever want to have to live on without them, i dont ever want to have children that wouldn’t know them.

i realize life is tough. i realize its difficult to depend so solely on one source of companioship and support. but they are my soul mates. my blood siblings. they may not have been mentioned, or referred to in this post, but they know i love them. no one will ever take that away. girls, guys, all shapes, sizes and indeed colours. :) they mean the world to me. and if anyone ever tells me i’m nice, or cool, i’ll unhesitantly tell them that beyond a shadow of doubt, i am who i am mostly, because of these fantastic people i call friends.

~* are they Gods disguised as humans, or humans pretending to be Gods? *~

cant remember where thats from, but it seemed perfectly relevent.

my friends. i love them.
have i told you how much i really love them?

183 Comments »

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  1. Mooooohh =) You just made me cry girl ! What aaaaaaaaa B I knew that you blogging was not a hot idea ! he he. Kos.

    I’m soooooooo gonna miss u when I leave. You bring out the kid in me, the hyped freak that not many ppl have had the .. ahem … “priviledge” of seeing. Our countless mindless sessions where we talk about the most random of things, even spending hours inventing cool new words.

    Its so cool that we’re not cool :) And we’re darn proud of it aren’t we !!

    We do have the coolest friends in the world ….. of course things were much cooler before you poked your ugly face into our world .. but hey …. life is unfair afterall ! he he. ;) Lets hope things will be like this forever and forever !

    Love you loads ! Hugs,

    Iroms, Iromika, Kos, B, Imorika and all other names that you call me.

    Comment by Iroms — March 22, 2005 @ 4:00 pm

  2. That was a HELL of a long post. What’s with all these people suddenly blogging!?

    Comment by Anisha — March 22, 2005 @ 8:04 pm

  3. BTW your link to iromis site dont work. tsk tsk…cant even get that right

    Comment by Anisha — March 22, 2005 @ 8:05 pm

  4. Glad I could help Subs, I know you’re going to love every minute of this. :) Btw with regard to fixing Iroms’ link, just take out the “www” prefix. And if you ever need any tech help with wordpress, you know who to call. ;-)

    *Gu feels inspired to write a ‘friends’ post after reading the above. Jots it down on his todo list.

    All in all, glad I poisoned your mind. I’m pretty good at that, neda?

    Comment by Gu — March 23, 2005 @ 7:06 am

  5. Hey Subha baba……..!
    I finally got some time to read your BLOG!!!
    This was so sweet……i talk about to you to my friends here almost on a daily basis too…!:)
    I was just telling one of my friends here(Raz) how all my firends have all thouhgt me something, and i appreciate them for what i have learnt from them. From YOU Subs…..i have learnt to say “i love you” without any hesitation now. i really really appreciate that. Thank you so much, for that. Do you know that you are the first person i think i said i love you, back to without feeling all shy or all giggly….!(i still sometimes do though……feel giggly!!) he he
    I remember when you, used to tell me “trace…….i love you” and look at me with that silly look on your face and i usaed to be like “ya ok subs” and just like pat you on the back ha ha like OoooKay!! ha ha ha… you a lways used to tell me “i don care what people think…..i want to tell them how i feel bout them and i think it is important to let them know” and u are right…. it is.!:)
    So thanks subs……! I love you and miss you tons….!

    p.s- Think i have got your problem of having alot to say…..he he ;) stopping my self now….! Keep doing your thing SUbs! Mmmmmmmmmmmwah!

    Comment by Tracy — March 27, 2005 @ 9:06 am

  6. anneee… subs.. that was SOOOOOOOOOOOO cute!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!! i’m glad u live next to me…… :) we’ll watch LOADS of Chad together, ok………. :) i really suck at writing.. but u know… I LOVE U……. heheheh ummmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!! :)

    Comment by Bo — March 28, 2005 @ 12:37 pm

  7. oh…. let’s do me ‘favourite’ thing one of these days, k????;) hehehehe

    Comment by Bo — March 28, 2005 @ 12:38 pm

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